Byline: Max Offen Sichtlich
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Offshore Charities Go Needing
Jan 15, 2056
In a single, what had to be orgiastic bender, Sacramento GM Ron Collins signed off on something around $21M in minor league contracts this pasts sim, bringing what is essential a set of shock troops in to bolster a flagging minor league system. Pitcher Damian Moraitopoulos led the charge, receiving a $7M payout to join the organization. Fellow hurlers Joe Brooks and Nevan McNider rolled in just behind at $5M a piece. Second baseman Paul Boyer nabbed a $2.5M check.
Adding the past month’s efforts up, the total comes to just under $22M.
And rumors say the club may not be done.
“Everyone said that the Sacramento episode of “Brewsters Babies” (the popular podcast review of minor league systems) was a real bust,” Collins said. “So we knew we needed to do something. We'll take a deep breath now and see what we might want to do going forward.”
Fans were a bit aghast at that “something.”
“That’s a lot of rutabagas,” said Donald “Fenny” Palista, a man who had been standing in line for three hours to buy season tickets the first day they went o sale.
“To be honest,” Collins said when questioned about the deals, “we really wanted to go out and give the money to a bunch of 16-year-olds from across the globe. But when the Commissioner’s office put the brakes on that idea, we basically just shifted paths. It’s probably better this way, truth be told. It’ll be nice to see a bit more of a steady flow starting to come from the system.”
