Byline: Max Offen Sichtlich
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Mad Popes Focus on AA Affiliate
Nov 16, 2055
“There’s very little more valuable than a Warren Cox League banner,” said Assistant GM Carlos Camacho, his voice robotic and weary, and the bags under his eyes growing deeper by the moment. “Ever since we found out that we only had $365,500 to spend on Free Agency, our entire staff has been focused on bringing a much-deserved championship to Bismark. And today we announce the first major step in that direction.”
That being that the team is sending seven of that team’s key players on an all-expenses paid conditioning cruise of the Bahamas known worldwide as the “Stud Maker Academy of Triathlon Iron Men.”
The conceit is that the attendees run a mini-marathon to make it aboard the ship, then have to pedal on the squirrel wheels to power the ship’s engines to leave port. Then, once the ship is halfway to its destination, all attendees are tossed from the rails and have to swim back.
“Believe me,” said Diana Dalton, owner, licensee, and proprietor of the well-established franchise, “This is a life-changing event. If they make back alive, they’ll never slack off again. Did I mention the half-starved sharks we release once everyone has done the cannonball dive?”
“I’m really looking forward to it,” said outfielder Akeem Joffer, a world-class sprinter. “I’m pretty sure I can out swim the other guys, too, so I’m thinking I should be safe.” Others attending will be 2B Senzo Sato, DH Rich Robinson, CL Josh Reynolds, SP Roy Nealy, SP Ronald Jones, and SP Richard Graves.
“Nothing is too good for these guys,” said Camacho. “We are really rooting for them to make it back.”
