Byline: Max Offen Sichtlich
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Sacramento Fans Sanguine After Defeat
October 26, 2055
I’m not sure we’re using the term “sanguine” quite right in that headline, but it’s a cool-sounding word, and it kind of fits. A little, anyway.
To no one’s surprise, a team GMed by Ron Collins made it to the post season and failed to take home hardware. A fourth inning triple by Gilbert Falchonelli followed by a Sac Fly spelled final doom, but most fans had already chalked it up after Game 1. The feel was just here, there, and everywhere. That smell of faintly rotten eggs riding on a fresh wave of fated destiny, that lets you know you need never care.
Or something like that.
The club was outplayed, outcoached, and out-GMed by the Twin Cities River Monsters, falling in five games.
No one was surprised.
“We’d already made concert plans for the first day of the Brewster,” said Melinda Parks, who tours the nation as Perryville, a Katy Perry tribute act. “We figured the demand for snappy pop music with a message of self-worth would resonate here in Sacramento about then.”
Needless to say, the show was sold out.
And now the team falls back to lick their wounds and figure out what’s going to happen. Unfortunately, it seems the club intends to pretty much bring back the whole mess of players that got them to the point where their fans’ mid-October concert schedule is open. Except, of course, that Tsuyoshi Kobayashi almost certainly can’t be fit into the mix, and the same for Todd Rice—though perhaps the soon-to-be 37 year old might be pursued in Free Agency if the price is quite low. Who knows? There’s also a question about Rich Dares, though one hopes the front office doesn’t get too caught up in his One Very Good Week.
Sigh.
Somewhere, high up in the center field tower at the Basilica, a green light flares.