51.01 Indiscriminate Nonsense

[shoeless.db]

June 23, 2051

The Popes opened the 2051 season asleep, and they've just recently began to stir. Two games back for the Pacific lead with a normally respectable 41-30 record, Sacramento has seen an influx of rumors and conspiracies as to their disappointing start. Here are a few:

* Long time Sacramento owner, Bill Dyer, Jr., wishes to move the team to the Dakotas, so he's installed muscle deformation wave emitters in the home locker room, resulting in poor play for the Popes.

* The green-eyed woman is said to be on pilgrimage. Her whereabouts are unknown.

* Space lasers

* Okyay 'Digital' Nisancî is conflicted between his role as outfielder for the Popes and his role as official court calligrapher of the 15th Century Ottoman Empire. He also welcomed the birth of his first child in May -- a happy and healthy boy (but who was also born with a birthmark of a shooting star striking Sultan Mehmed II -- fulfilling the prophesy of the Ghaza Horse).

* No one sacrificed a live chicken prior to the season, as is tradition.

[CTBrewCrew]

North or South Dakota Popes?