Ingrid Lillander
Ex-Mother-in-Law of the Chief Operational Officer
Fireshoeless.com
Entering another offseason under the disastrous tutelage of GM Shoeless, Mad Popes fans hoped to witness the team's front office utilize some of the magical sauce bestowed by the league. The sauce, known by the trade name PeePeeTee, can be used to create money from thin air, improve the character of a promising prospect, or, when applied correctly, alter the abilities of unsuspecting hurlers.
According to an anonymous source within the Sacramento organization, the Mad Popes currently hold 92.5 fluid ounces of PeePeeTee. Even small amounts of the elixir, when squirted on the face of the right player, can reap major advances. Players and prospects identified who could most gain from exposure are reliever Jeff Skinner, centerfield prospect Wasim Ala', and batting phenom Unem Ploid.
Unfortunately, Shoeless maintains possession of the bottle containing the liquid, and a multi-faceted investigation done by fireshoeless.com has found that, despite his obvious desire to utilize the team's portion of PeePeeTee, Shoeless has, to this point, been unable to figure out the bottle's child-proof cap.
Maybe next offseason, Pope fans.
Fire Shoeless!
47.01 Child-Proof Bottle Baffles Shoeless
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47.01 Child-Proof Bottle Baffles Shoeless
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Re: 47.01 Child-Proof Bottle Baffles Shoeless
I think you're squirting the wrong stuff on their faces, Ted!shoeless.db wrote: ↑Fri May 14, 2021 1:45 pm
According to an anonymous source within the Sacramento organization, the Mad Popes currently hold 92.5 fluid ounces of PeePeeTee. Even small amounts of the elixir, when squirted on the face of the right player, can reap major advances.
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