Warehouse Manager
fireshoeless.com
The other day we got this pallet sitting on our dock. No one knows where the damn thing came from, but it's sitting there with a monster box on it. Bigger than a refrigerator box. You know, huge. A monster. But with "FRAGILE" stamped all over the thing. Now, I'm no dummy. I'm not opening no box I don't know where it's from. Maybe we have to send that thing down the road and now we have to repackage the whole thing cause we cut it open like we're some slashers in a horror flick. No, sir. Not me. So we just let the thing sit there.
After some time the damn thing just keeps getting in the way of our normal shipments. You know, we got quite a run of receiving in and sending out a ton of fireshoeless merch. The damn guy, that shoeless, has been a frickin' whirlwind of winning pull-tabs for all of us down here. He's making us a shit-ton of money. Boat loads. Anyway, I'm getting pretty damn fed up with moving that big box around on its pallet all god damn day, so I just get out my cutter and start ripping that box apart. I didn't give two shits anymore. I wanted it out of the warehouse.
You won't believe what was in there. Just a big damn rock with a Polaroid taped on with some duct tape. Now, that Polaroid blew my damn mind. Here's a picture of our stupid gm standing on some vacation down in the Bahamas with our brand new relief pitcher next to him. You know, that Ike Kocher guy just standing there next to Shoeless with frickin' flip flops and some swim trunks with surfboards all over it. Now, the most damning thing of it all was someone wrote underneath Kocher, like they wanted to make sure we knew the gig, they wrote 'son' in a black Sharpie. And under Shoeless, they wrote 'dad'.
That no good idiot of a GM went full frickin' Nepo on this organization. He traded away two nice looking pitchers in Matt Spencer and Fernando Bruno to bring in his frickin' nipple suckin' son. All I can say is Kocher better keep his damn head down and pitch his ass off or he'll be suspect #2 in the Mad Popes murder trial right behind his balls-lickin' father.
Fire Shoeless.
