46.09 Apple Fritters

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46.09 Apple Fritters

Post by shoeless.db » Mon Apr 19, 2021 4:28 pm

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You probably haven't had my neighbor Helen's apple fritters. Consider yourself lucky. They taste like her idiot husband smells, like they were left on a dusty lazy-boy recliner for the past 15 years, then slopped together onto a paper plate and covered in used tin foil. Oh, and moth balls. I don't know why he smells like moth balls all the damn time. Anyway, Shoeless is like Helen's apple fritters. And they both need to be tossed into a garbage can and forgotten.

The Popes' moron of a general manager has decided to employ a pitching strategy utilizing openers and followers. For those of you who don't get bedazzled by stupid fads like myself, you'll need me to explain what this is. Shoeless has some unlucky reliever start the game, pitch to a couple batters, then send him to an early shower by replacing him with a typical starter. The whole ordeal smells of lunacy and Helen's fritters.

Unfortunately, the maneuver has somehow worked out. In a small sample size of seven games, the openers have surrendered just one run, likely benefiting from facing a bunch of same-side hitters. Heck, even recent additions to the club like opener Ike Kocher and follower Kevin O'Toole have shown the strategy to work.

But, like all good things, Shoeless will find a way to muck this up and turn it into an utter failure, which won't be hard for him as he can't seem to pull the Popes into a playoff spot, even with the hapless Tropics, conniving Bears, and sad Cyclones sitting barely ahead of them.

Can we just get rid of Shoeless already? He's the Helen's apple fritters of the baseball world?

Fire Shoeless.
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Re: 46.09 Apple Fritters

Post by tylertoo » Mon Apr 19, 2021 7:40 pm

shoeless.db wrote:
Mon Apr 19, 2021 4:28 pm
In a small sample size of seven games, the openers have surrendered just one run, likely benefiting from facing a bunch of same-side hitters.
I think that's more than a sufficient sampling to prove definitively that openers are a viable strategy. Plus, Helen.
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Re: 46.09 Apple Fritters

Post by Dington » Mon Apr 19, 2021 10:09 pm

tylertoo wrote:
Mon Apr 19, 2021 7:40 pm
shoeless.db wrote:
Mon Apr 19, 2021 4:28 pm
In a small sample size of seven games, the openers have surrendered just one run, likely benefiting from facing a bunch of same-side hitters.
I think that's more than a sufficient sampling to prove definitively that openers are a viable strategy. Plus, Helen.
I was just thinking earlier we needed another SSS show.
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Re: 46.09 Apple Fritters

Post by CTBrewCrew » Tue Apr 20, 2021 7:56 am

Mmmmm. Hellens “HOT”...whoa sorry was that out loud !? If Joe does another foods of the BBA, these “fritters” will rival someone’s cookies 🍪
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