Absolutely unprecedented! Two team news articles written in consecutive days!
You may want to ask if this is heaven, but, no, it is, in fact, instead, a whole heck of a lot of fun, loving commas, too many, possibly, if that's something up for debate. Commas aside, though, this second team news in two days is an anomaly, seeing as Sacramento has written so few team news articles over the past two seasons, a fact confounded by the first of these two team news being written on a Monday. It's a kick-flip-over-a-Great-White kind of ordeal.
The subject of this team news, which requires an equal level of majestic wonder as the team news itself, must be and can only be the Mad Popes' utility, injury replacement infielder
Felipe Ruiz. The 26-year-old Argentine native is slashing a slick .179/.207/.214 in his first taste of the sludge that is the BBA coffee. Ruiz's true value lies in his defense, though, where his premiere abilities at shortstop and second base allows for exotic managerial exploits.
Felipe Ruiz "He gives us the ability to do so much with the lineup late in games," said Sacramento skipper
Billy Inkster. "He's done a great job filling in for
Jose Mendez, and it will be a shame when he's buried back in the minors for the entirety of his baseball career once Jose recovers. I mean, Felipe really has no reason to be up in the BBA aside from some above average defensive ratings. Frankly, I didn't even know who the heck he was before his call-up, and I've only spoken to the guy one time, and that was by accident due to being stuck in a short elevator ride with him. To be honest, I don't even know if I could pick him out of a police lineup, not that he's committed a crime or anything, I guess, unless you wanted to say his low batting skills are against the law of nature, which they are. But, dang it, I went on a tangent here and I should say, especially so my wife doesn't get all pissed at me for talking bad about some quad-A player, you know, she's always frickin' at my chaw about some stupid thing that I did or said. I mean, I don't criticize her for all the work she does around the house. Haha. You see, that's a joke, because she doesn't do a damn thing around the house, unless you think holding down the leather couch, which I bought, by the way, in case a freak inside windstorm were to somehow gather in the great room is considered work. Anyway, I'm really proud of, oh crap, what's his name again? Oh, yeah, Felipe. Yeah, I'm really proud of how he's come up here and done everything we've asked of him."
Felipe and the Mad Popes take on the Nashville Blue Poults this evening at the Basilica at Muskrat Slough, where Sacramento hopes to complete the sweep.