44.50 Black Hole Baseball

[shoeless.db]

September 1, 2044 | Mad Popes Record: 61-74, 22 GB, 8.5 GB(WC), 3-3 last sim
Rolio Elder | Apprentice to the Exalted Mystic | Donkeagle Press

In yet another stroke of pure baseball general managing ineptitude, Sacramento GM Shoeless has outdone himself by perfecting the strategy of Black Hole Baseball^TM. What is Black Hole Baseball^TM, you ask? Well, it's a general managing style of utilizing ballplayers with elite defensive skills and absolutely dreadful offensive abilities. With the recent promotion of CF Vinnie Coalman from AAA Black Hills, coupled with SS Thomas Kramer and 2B Henri Charriere, a perfect black hole now exists up the middle on defense and at the bottom of the Mad Popes' batting lineup.

"Good luck finding a better trio manning the middle of the field on a BBA roster," Shoeless said from the fourth hole throwing box of Sacramento's Reichmuth Park Disc Golf Course. "Hell, even that Ronnie Collins character out of Yellow Springs called Kramer a walking web-gem."

All that is true. Kramer and Charriere are likely the best defensive players at their positions in the league, and Coalman can certainly hold his own in center, thereby forming a black hole for any baseballs hit their way. Unfortunately, the trio also creates a planet-devouring, gravity splitting black hole in the lineup. As of this writing, all three players have batting averages below the Mendoza line -- Kramer at .197, Charriere at .190, and Coalman at a bleak .133 in Sacramento.

"Yeah, about that ... well, all three are pretty young, I guess," continued Shoeless. "They're all likely to improve a bit at the plate as they gain more at-bat at the big league level."

Exalted Mystic Ralph Dewaldo has a different take: "Like Shoeless, the three consume all light -- light that brings us joy, light that shines upon the perfect form of Camacho."

[HoosierVic]

The Sox have been experimenting with this approach for years - without the good fielding part, of course ...

[RonCo]

Very solid defense, though I think Dong-po Thum is the best defensive 2B in the game right now, and J2/McKinley at C, Thum at 2B, Pena at SS (who's second half has put him back into the fray for SS Zimmer), and Duggan in CF is about as good as you can get up the middle.