Rolio Elder | Apprentice to the Exalted Mystic | Donkeagle Press
The Popes were the laughing stock of the league to begin the season. They were awful. They were beyond awful. They were the hidden set of Vinnie Vitale's accounting books-awful. They were Yellow Springs in the Landis-awful. They were San Fernando pitching-awful. They were everything about Long Beach-awful.
Awful.
Then the last several weeks happened where the Popes went 17-5. And, we're confused.
When did we quit being awful?
Most would assume much thanks should go to Valencia @gcsii99 who catapulted the Popes into their winning ways after the Popes swept them in a three game set in late June, but we'd be wrong to attribute it as such. The real reason for the Popes' turnaround was a clipping from an article out of Portland @7teen:
According to our top unpaid intern, Wasim Jaffar Jr., the clipping was photocopied over 14,000 times and plastered in every nook and cranny of the Sacramento clubhouse -- the urinals, every locker, the hallway leading to the field, the training room, inside cleats, inside nutcups, inside batting helmets, under the windshield wipers of players' cars, and the wine-kiosk the players' wives frequent during games. The sight of the clipping became a dagger to the midsection of many veteran Pope players.Did you know we swept Sacramento in a 3-game series back in April only to repeat the feat again in May? WEll, you know now. You'll also know we are 6-0 against the Bum Popes this season.
"We were all so god-damn tired of seeing that damn quote every damn place we went," said stopper Manuel Cruz. "But, I'm curious what kind of quotes will come out of Portland now after we whooped their ass last week."
Cruz is talking about their four game sweep of Portland following the All-Star break, which saw the Popes outscore the Lumberjills 16-1 in the series. Sacramento's pitching was so entirely dominant they allowed just the one garbage run in the 11-1 FUBAR on July 13. Portland managed just 18 hits in the four games.
"Our boys were a bit motivated to say the least," Sacramento manager Andre Lebas said. "I think we may just leave them (the clippings) up a bit longer or possibly replace them with this doozy (pictured below) from Long Beach. Either way, I doubt many will be calling us the Bum Popes much longer."
(Editor's Note to @Lane: The Mad Popes are coming for you!)