Rolio Elder | Apprentice to the Exalted Mystic | Donkeagle Press
General Manager Shoeless has screeched his miserable voice all over the airwaves (Editor's note to @niles08 : Olmsted is spelled, well, Olmsted, and certainly not Holmstead), proclaiming the multitude of ridiculous trades he's made as part of an organizational retool. Yet, because it's Shoeless, he went and did the opposite of what a team typically does during a retool: He traded away a bunch of prospects in exchange for an old grizzled veteran on the last year of his contract.
Tony Alomar
"Camacho appeared in my dream last night ... in the form of a sea monster," Shoeless said via telephone while walking his dog in Sacramento's East Portal Park. "He spoke to me in a language I didn't understand, but I took from his body undulations that he wanted me to make a trade for Alomar. I just requested that bin Ayoob be part of the deal, because, I guess, his name is kind of fun to say. Alim Bin Ayoob. Bin Ayoob."
Alomar spent most of this season as Wichita's stopper out of their bullpen, posting an ERA of 2.92 in 61 2/3 innings and a FIP of just 3.48. He is on a one year deal paying him $2.86m.
"We think Alomar may have the ability to start games for us," Shoeless went on. "If that fails, we can always put him back in the pen with Cruz, Vitalle, and Andres. Heck, maybe the four of them could be called the Four Donkeagles of Mayhem, or something on that ilk."
Despite our continuous ridicule of Shoeless, we here at Donkeagle Press are excited about that name: The Four Donkeagles of Mayhem. It sounds foreboding, and it's also a brilliant tribute to our lord and savior, Camacho.
"Bin Ayoob! Bin Ayoob!" Exalted Mystic Ralph Dewaldo sang. "Alim Bin Ayoob! It really is fun to say!"
