44.20 Francisco the Flash

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44.20 Francisco the Flash

Post by shoeless.db » Thu Sep 17, 2020 9:35 pm

May 12, 2044 | Mad Popes Record: 13-23, 10 1/2GB, 3-3 last sim
Rolio Elder | Apprentice to the Exalted Mystic | Camacho Order #26 | Donkeagle Press


A question for you, dear reader -- What do you do when you bring in a power hitting, mountain of a man with 441 BBA homers and the speed of a three-legged snapping turtle? Well, you pinch run him, of course.

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"Francisco the Flash"
Last week, the Mad Popes traded for legend Francisco Cruz and initiated him onto the team by having him pinch run in his May 5th Sacramento debut. With the Popes leading the scrappy Seattle club, 6-2 in the bottom of the seventh inning, the 35-year-old Cruz was called upon to pinch run for 23-year-old Jose Dominguez.

"We watched a lot of film on Cruz before deciding to bring him over to the Pacific," said manager Andre Lebas. "One thing that jumped out on us was his natural, almost animal-like instincts on the basepaths. He may be slow, but that man can swipe a base. We feel he was not managed correctly before coming here."

When asked why Cruz didn't just pinch-hit rather than pinch-run, Lebas was flippant.

"Do I go down to that old Wendy's you idiots converted into some kind of cult temple and tell you how to do your job?" Lebas asked. "No. I don't. Because, one, I'm not an asshole, and, two, I'm frankly terrified of the amount of chicken entrails spilled out on your crumbling parking lot."

(Editor's Note: The chicken entrails will be cleaned up once the 2044 Amateur Draft is complete)
Sacramento Mad Popes (unretired)
-- Vic Caleca Team News Award Winner 2052
-- BBA Champion 2053
-- Pacific Champs 2040, 2042, 2043, 2047, 2048, 2049, 2051, 2053, 2054
Life is a bit more beautiful when time is measured by the half inning rather than the half hour.

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