Rolio Elder | Apprentice to the Exalted Mystic | Camacho Order #26 | Donkeagle Press
A question for you, dear reader -- What do you do when you bring in a power hitting, mountain of a man with 441 BBA homers and the speed of a three-legged snapping turtle? Well, you pinch run him, of course.
"Francisco the Flash"
"We watched a lot of film on Cruz before deciding to bring him over to the Pacific," said manager Andre Lebas. "One thing that jumped out on us was his natural, almost animal-like instincts on the basepaths. He may be slow, but that man can swipe a base. We feel he was not managed correctly before coming here."
When asked why Cruz didn't just pinch-hit rather than pinch-run, Lebas was flippant.
"Do I go down to that old Wendy's you idiots converted into some kind of cult temple and tell you how to do your job?" Lebas asked. "No. I don't. Because, one, I'm not an asshole, and, two, I'm frankly terrified of the amount of chicken entrails spilled out on your crumbling parking lot."
(Editor's Note: The chicken entrails will be cleaned up once the 2044 Amateur Draft is complete)