43.07 Popes Draft Nicknameless Youngster

[shoeless.db]

April 14, 2043
Sacramento River Press

James Ward

In a surprise selection in the first round of the 2043 First-Year Player Draft, the Sacramento Mad Popes called the name of prep starting pitcher James Ward out of King City, California. Many anticipated the Popes to select a player with a viable nickname, but Sacramento brass opted for a world without color and happiness.

"I'm seriously upset with the pick," said local furniture salesman Richard Malavaey. "Nicoláo "Att-a-boy" Schoeppen was still available at that point in the first round. Truly ashamed of the Popes' front office right now. How the hell do you pass up a guy with the nickname, Att-a-boy?"

Upon review, the Mad Popes also passed on Ronaldo "Chunky" Reyes, Dale "Headcase" Hill, and Takahiro "The Dance" Nakano. Each would have been a better selection over a guy without a personality to even warrant a moniker of any sort.

"Look, we just like what Mr. Ward brings to the ballpark everyday," a defiant Shoeless said via conference call today. "He profiles to have an elite curveball and changeup, and he could very well pair those with an elite fastball and splitter if he can add some velocity to his pitches. We love the guy, nickname or not."

Despite the spin Shoeless is attempting to portray with the pick, local fans are understandably frustrated.

"I want to cheer for a team with a hint of character," said housewife Karen McKaren. "I want to speak to their general manager this instant!"

[HoosierVic]

The Mad Popes pass on Headcase Hill? I demand an inquisition!

[jleddy]

Classic Karen.

[Lane]

The Karen's are out of control

[usnspecialist]

I like ward, could be a quick mover.