42.30 Shoeless Responds to Manning

[shoeless.db]

Punching Back

July 29, 2042; Sacramento: In arrogant, bully-behavior fashion, British pop-star Mikki Manning backpedaled her insinuating comments denigrating polka music and Lawrence Welk by downplaying her role in the burgeoning feud between herself and Chicago Black Sox owner Vinnie Vitale after California Crusader General Manager Shoeless stuck up for polka, Welk, and Vitale in a press conference here yesterday.

In a conveniently scripted interview with a journalist employed and paid by Manning for her world tour, Manning did as all bullies do when popped in the mouth by someone with the guts to stand up to them. She tossed out comments belittling both Vitale and Shoeless, calling them "man-boys". Manning also tried to fall back on the weak gender card, stating, "... even in 2042 baseball people can't deal with a strong woman ... "

But, the most ridiculous comment was when she pretended to associate herself with the "hard, hard work" of burger joint fry cooks when she said, "I started my working life at one of those places."

Shoeless was quick to respond to this comment this morning via video teleconference: "Did you hear her comment on her starting out as a fry cook? Good lord, the girl just doesn't live in reality, at least not the one you and I live in. Starring in the internet reality television show from 2037, "Celebrity Slumming It", where she spent 15 minutes taking orders for a Burger King drive thru, doesn't make her some hero for fry cooks around the world. But, I suppose, she's right in the fact that it was the first place she actually had to do any work of any kind."

Shoeless continued.

"What we have here is just another case of a person so detached from what it's like for 99.9% of the world's population. I mean, for god's sake, she bought an island and acts like she's some sort of goddess bringing riches to the unfortunate inhabitants. Plus, she keeps touting that her imitation chesticles are "real" and "spectacular". Well, I sure as hell hope they're spectacular, as she paid good money for them when she had them done by Dr. Fritzenham Kocherschmeltz in the bowels of South Pacific Field. Her "real" honkerburgers put enough money in our coffers to add another section of seats this offseason here at the stadium."

[HoosierVic]

Honkerburgers. Ha!

[recte44]

Hooray for Boobies!