SHOELESS LASHES OUT
July 28, 2042: Mikki Manning, maga-star and singer of the 2035 chart popping single, "I Wave Everyone Home", went on the offensive earlier today in a spirited rant against Chicago Black Sox owner, Vinnie Vitale. In a story broke by Yellow Springs' news outlet, Dirt Deposit, Manning countered Vitale's claims of Manning using auto-tune and for not having a hit record in over two years by insinuating Vitale listens to polka music, specifically the musical legend, Lawrence Welk -- an insult that will likely be swatted away by Vitale but one that hit home for another member of the BBA community, California Crusader's General Manager, Shoeless.
"I spent much of my childhood on a farmstead several stone throws from Lawrence Welk's boyhood home outside the rural town of Strasburg, North Dakota," Shoeless said during a press conference held outside South Pacific Field late this afternoon. "I won't have some hotzy-totzy floozy (Manning) talk down upon the musical styling of Lawrence Welk. Geez, Manning thinks that she's some kind of artist because she can flop around her Botox'ed ass and jiggle her silicon fun-bags in front of a bunch of sex-starved perverts. Hell, Long Beach is crawling with more beautiful and, I must say, natural girls who could dance around and lip-sing to the over-produced noise Manning slings out, like she's some rundown burger joint's fry cook."
Shoeless continued.
"And, people can't even dance to the garbage Manning records. She should do her damn homework and learn how amazing it is to take your partner by the hand, lead them out to a wooden dance floor, and dance to a solid polka number played by a dyed-in-the-wool polka band. Oh, I'll take a gentleman with a gift for the accordion over the techno-trash Manning sings along to -- music produced to drown out her Beagle-like vocals, I'm sure."
Shoeless went on.
"Jesus H. Christ, I can't believe that piff-wat has me actually falling on the side of that nit-wit (Vitale) in Chicago. That's maybe the worst damn part about this whole thing."
With the BBA coming down to its final months of the 2042 season, the rivalry between California and Yellow Springs, both currently holding playoff spots if the season ended today, may have just been turned to high.
42.29 Shoeless Calls Out Mikki Manning
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42.29 Shoeless Calls Out Mikki Manning
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