42.26 PPP; Crusaders Sign Cut UMEBA Player

[shoeless.db]

[Host Sai Ahuji walks out from behind a curtain. The audience goes crazy.]

SAI -- Hey, hey, hey! How is everyone? [crowd continues to go nuts] Thank you. And, welcome, Crusader Fans, to Triple P! I'm your host Sai "Young" Ahuji, and with me, as always, is the last kid picked in every phy. ed. class, Aarav "the Mad Pope of Mumbai" Patil.

AARAV -- You can't bring me down today, Sai. It's a huge day for us ... for the UMEBA!

SAI -- Yes, that's right. Let's jump right into our top story:

Sergio Maldonado

In a wildly ironic role reversal, the California Crusaders of the Brewster Baseball Association signed and plan to start a ballplayer released from a Unified Middle East Baseball Association team. Sergio Maldonado was cut by the UMEBA expansion Athens Frolicking Halfmen organization on May 1, 2042. Maldonado signed with the Athens organization in early April, where he slashed .404/.460/.456 in 57 at-bats for the Halfmen's AAA affiliate, the Somali Pirates. The 28-year-old was also named the ABA NL Player of the Week on April 28, just days prior to being given his outright release.

For more on this developing story, Wasim Jaffer Jr. is standing by. Wasim?


WASIM -- Sai, I'm right over here. [Wasim is standing off to the side of the stage with his band] Remember, we have a new format? It's a late night talk show now.

SAI -- Oh, yes, yes, of course. Please, what can you tell us about the addition of Maldonado for California?

WASIM -- My sources close to General Manager Shoeless confirmed the power-poor, switch-hitting first baseman was promoted to the big club this week after another abysmal week of June for the Crusaders -- one that saw their lead in the Pacific fall to just one game over the surging Hawaii Tropics. Shoeless hopes that Maldonado can carry over his hot April in Somalia and an equally hot May and June with AAA Black Hills (.388/.449/.512 in 80 at-bats). He's already been penciled into the lineup against right-handers in the hope his bat can curb the decline in the Crusaders play this summer.

AARAV -- Fantastic! Isn't it just fantastic? We basically paved the way for guys like Sergio.

SAI -- Um, what do you mean?

AARAV -- Well, if we didn't prove that people could have success moving from the UMEBA to the BBA, guys like Sergio would never get the chance. We're heroes, Sai. Heroes!

SAI -- There you have it, Crusader's fans. We're heroes. You're welcome. The Sergio Maldonado era begins in California thanks to Triple P. Have a great night, and we'll be seeing you at the ballpark.

[HoosierVic]

Oh my.

[jleddy]

I really hope an UMEBA team picks up "Athens Frolicking Halfmen" and runs with it (no pun intended).

[HoosierVic]

Can he keep up the hot streak he had going in Somalia? That’s a sentence you rarely see ...

[bschr682]

Wait so if he had a hot streak going in Somalia and kept it going in Black Hills doesn’t that mean that North Dakota is pretty much a 3rd world country? I mean I already figured this but I didn’t think you’d admit it...