Crusader Columnist
FireShoeless.com
Duct Tape and Barbed Wire: Is this the Shoeless Way?
Entering his fourth season as general manager for our beloved Crusaders, Shoeless once again finds himself stumbling through the discount aisles of the BBA in an effort to piece together a major league roster. This off-season, he found a new supplier of duct tape and barbed wire to hold his rickety creation together: the Rule 5 Draft.
Here's a sampling of tweets from #fireshoeless on Twitter:
@RicardoDiazisMyDaddy
general managing a baseball club should not entail a game of Pin-the-Terrible-Prospect-on-the-Opening-Day-Roster
@donkeymagic322
shoeless wanted to sign my seven-year-old nephew but opted not to when he found out my nephew was in his third season of organized tball ... turns out he had too much experience to play for California this year.
@rodanandfieldsruinedmymarriage35
an A-baller? shoeless has had three seasons to build up the minors, and he's done such a terrible job he's robbing A-ballers from other clubs. Fire the fool already!
@bringbackTed
remember when this organization had a plan? it's getting harder to remember with this idiot in charge
As anyone can see, the reception for our newest Crusader is anything but jolly. Of course, Shoeless is hitting all the wannabe sports shows with his typical spin. Here's a sampling from the most recent episode of Popes Playing Pepper:
"We were thrilled to have Sixto (Padilla) available to us that far down in the Rule 5 Draft. He's an elite defender with just enough prowess at the plate to be dangerous. Sixto put up some solid numbers in the minors -- hell, I think he's hit close to .300 the last couple seasons. Plus, he was the MVP for the Rookie League All-Star game in 2039, and, just last year, he was the Garden Cup MVP as part of the A-ball playoffs. That's what got us excited about him; not only is he a solid baseball player, but he's also shown the ability to come through in the clutch."
Wow, sorry for making you read that. The smell of rotten eggs and vegetables you smell is due to the massive spew of garbage Shoeless excretes on a daily basis.
As far as this columnist is concerned, it's time to take Shoeless out to the trash, because duct tape and barbed wire are no way to build a Landis winner.
