42.03 Visitor's Clubhouse Size Decreased

[shoeless.db]

Sacramento (AP) -- Visiting ballplayers were thrilled upon learning the visitor's clubhouse at South Pacific Field would receive a much needed facelift over the off-season. Unfortunately, their hopes of carpeted floors and new locker bays were misguided as California top brass instead decreased the size of the clubhouse by half. A new wall was erected down the center of the clubhouse, creating a separate room to be utilized by consulting team physician, Dr. Fritzenham Kocherschmeltz.

"Frankly, we don't care if our opponents have to change into their uniforms on the team bus outside the stadium," said a defiant assistant general manager Anton Vogts. "They're here to play baseball and not to be coddled like some crying, pink infant."

The smaller clubhouse space has already rankled the feathers of fellow Frick League general managers.

"Keep making our guys piss in pig feeders, I guess," said normally reserved Omaha GM, Justin Niles. "They need to build a new ballpark. I'm going to petition the BBA Governing Board."

When asked about the angst of his adversaries and the possibility of a new Crusaders' ballpark, Anton Vogts had this to say: "What? Should we tear down the Colosseum in Rome because it lost a couple supports? Should we dismantle the Taj Mahal because one of the bathrooms isn't big enough for you overweight Americans? Huh, should we? South Pacific Field is a world treasure."

The Crusaders were 54-27 at home in 2041. Look for them to improve upon that mark this coming season.

[niles08]

this is great writing

[jleddy]

So luxury boxes will feature rain in Mexico City and visiting players in California have to use porte-potties? Seems like some sort of Congressional hearing is needed before this gets out of hand.

[shoeless.db]

So luxury boxes will feature rain in Mexico City and visiting players in California have to use porte-potties? Seems like some sort of Congressional hearing is needed before this gets out of hand.

Really? Really? You're one to talk. My understanding is the hotel the Spuds have visiting teams stay at features a strip club filled with native-Idahoan strippers. It gives me chills thinking about the horrors.

[HoosierVic]

Your teeny tiny clubhouse doesn't scare us … we have team meetings at the Calumet City Motel 6. This'll seem like a weekend at the spa.

[RonCo]

They call them "peelers" in Idaho.