42.01 PPP with Guest, Owen Stark

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42.01 PPP with Guest, Owen Stark

Post by shoeless.db » Tue Mar 10, 2020 1:59 pm

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[Host Sai Ahuji walks out from behind a curtain. The audience goes crazy.]

SAI -- All right! Thank you. Thank you. Settle down. And, welcome, Crusader Fans, to Triple P! I'm your host Sai "Young" Ahuji, and with me, as always, is the 0.01% of germs a good disinfectant cannot defeat, Aarav "the Mad Pope of Mumbai" Patil. [The audience starts chanting, "Germ, Germ, Germ!"]

AARAV -- I'm a germ now?

SAI -- You're whatever I want you to be, Aarav. That's my god-given host power.

AARAV -- Too bad you don't have the power to be entertaining.

SAI -- What's that? You say something?

AARAV -- Nope. Nothing. What's on tap for the show today?

SAI -- Well, we have a fantastic show for our loyal viewers tonight. Maybe our best show yet as we were lucky enough to get recently hired Rookie league Berkeley Golden Bears' hitting coach, Owen Stark, to join us.

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Owen Stark

AARAV -- Who?

SAI -- Owen Stark! [begins to clap and looks to the crowd to do the same] See, Aarav, the crowd already loves him, so let's bring him out. Everyone, Owen Stark!

[Stark walks confidently from the back of the set and greets Aarav and Sai with firm handshakes. He turns and waves to the crowd before sitting.]

SAI -- Mr. Stark ...

OWEN STARK -- Please call me, Owen.

SAI -- Sure think, Owen. I want you to know I was over the moon to hear of your new position with the California Crusader organization. Your leadership qualities and your knowledge of the game were legendary during your playing days. I hope to see some of that rub off on our players down in rookie ball.

OWEN STARK -- Please, Sai, you're going to make me blush. But, I will say I knew when my playing days were over that I wanted to come back to the Crusader organization as a coach. As you know, I played for five different organizations, but no one made me feel at home like California did. I just wish I could have done more for them on the field.

SAI -- Of course, that's the competitiveness in you. But, now you'll get a chance to make an even bigger impact.

OWEN STARK -- 100% correct. I'm already excited to see what I can do with the two guys known as the Unicorns down in Berkeley, that is, if they don't get promoted before I get there.

SAI -- Ah, yes. I meant to ask you about Pete Davis and Bunty McBunterson.

OWEN STARK -- Yep, when I communicated with the top brass in the big offices, they were disappointed in these two guys' development in their first season of professional baseball. I think there's plenty I can teach both of them, like, good god, Davis needs to start learning a little patience at the plate. A walk is a double for that guy, but he's up there swinging out of his cleats every at bat. I'm going to change that.

SAI -- Sounds fantastic, but hold the train. Let's back up a bit. You said you were in contact with top brass from the organization? Who exactly?

OWEN STARK -- Well, it was all kind of odd, to tell you the truth. I kept getting these hand-written letters from GM Shoeless outlining the structure of the contract along with the philosophies of the organization. He said he was "tied up" and couldn't meet in person.

SAI -- [takes a sideways glance towards Triple P bandleader, Wasim Jaffer Jr.] Do you happen to remember where the letters were postmarked from?

OWEN STARK -- Yeah, that was an odd thing, too. They were postmarked Hague, North Dakota.

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WASIM -- I'm on it. I'll be on the next flight to ... North Dakota. Do they even have airports in North Dakota?

SAI -- Just go, Wasim. You'll figure it out. [Sai turns and shakes Stark's hand] Thank you so much for being on the show today, Owen. You've already helped out. [turns to the camera] And, with that, thanks for tuning in, Crusader Fans. We'll be seeing you at the ballpark!
Sacramento Mad Popes (unretired)
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Re: 42.01 PPP with Guest, Owen Stark

Post by HoosierVic » Tue Mar 10, 2020 7:14 pm

Wait a minute. Wasim is the band leader now? Can he even read sheet music?

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Re: 42.01 PPP with Guest, Owen Stark

Post by bschr682 » Tue Mar 10, 2020 8:23 pm

Blast from the past Owen Stark!
GM Vancouver Mounties

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