41.03 Wasim's Weekly; The Turning of the Screws™

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41.03 Wasim's Weekly; The Turning of the Screws™

Post by shoeless.db » Tue Dec 17, 2019 2:56 pm

Idiot, Good-For-Nothing General Manager Makes Chaotic Moves
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Monday, December 16, 2040 -- Just when the Crusader fanbase began to believe in GM Shoeless' baseball management philosophy entitled, The Right Wind™, Shoeless went and ripped apart several structural supports of the past couple seasons. In a wild and unforeseen move, he sent long-time California back-stop, Chip Saunders, and developing third-base star, Luis Lucero, to the Brooklyn Robins for 19-year-old shortstop, Jorge Lugo, and centerfield prospect, Trevor Tieleman.

Shoeless had this to say regarding the trade: "We want to thank Sarge (Saunders) and LuLu (Lucero) for their contributions to the California Crusader organization. In the end, we just love the upside of both Jorge and Trevor -- at the plate, in the field, and on the bases. They encompass a tenet of The Right Wind™ philosophy, which we like to call, The Turning of the Screws™, a play-style of continued and mounting pressure. We want life for our rivals to be a blistery, pressure-filled hell."

Many predicted GM Shoeless would look for a replacement at third base for Lucero through Free Agency. Instead, in a surprising move, the Crusaders signed second baseman, Xue-qin 'Gorilla' Man to a three year contract. The Gorilla fills a gaping hole left in the wake of losing Chip Saunders as the team's captain. Initial reports indicate the Gorilla has already filled the void with his motivational leadership style and non-stop energy. One player stated The Gorilla texts him several times a day with positive messages along with gentle prodding to work hard in off-season workouts.

In the most jaw-dropping move of the winter for the Crusaders, GM Shoeless brought in career .334 hitter, Dusty Rhodes, to bat in the DH spot between The Greek Freak (Quant Kouros) and Horrible (David) Simpson in the batting order. The move left many scratching their heads with the thought of having two power-light hitters in Rhodes and Kouros playing in the 1B and DH spots, normally reserved for big-boppers. But, GM Shoeless has other ideas:

"We think the Greek Freak can still play a manageable second or third base, if needed. When we move him to one of those positions, it opens up a world of possibilities for added pop in the lineup. Our hope is the added offense will negate the possible drop in defense. We'll be auditioning several guys for that open first base spot, but the hope is The Chicken (Cheng-ho Ji) will step into the role and dominate like he did this past season in AA."

It's anyone's guess if GM Shoeless is done making moves this off-season. But, a betting man would definitely bet on plenty of roster modifications moving forward.

"The Turning of the Screws™ has begun," said Shoeless. "I'll enjoy watching the weaknesses of our opponents be exposed as they crack and break under the pressure."
Sacramento Mad Popes
-- Vic Caleca Team News Award Winner 2052
-- BBA Champion 2053
— The Heartland Sucks
-- Pacific Champs 2040, 2042, 2043, 2047, 2048, 2049, 2051, 2053, 2054, 2058
Life is a bit more beautiful when time is measured by the half inning rather than the half hour.

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Re: 41.03 Wasim's Weekly; The Turning of the Screws™

Post by HoosierVic » Tue Dec 17, 2019 5:58 pm

So wait. Your trademarked philosophy has a trademarked sub-philosophy? This is a front in the intellectual property wars that Chicago may need to explore ...

P.S. - The top of that lineup should really be something to watch.

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