41.01 PPP; Throwing the Rug

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41.01 PPP; Throwing the Rug

Post by shoeless.db » Wed Dec 11, 2019 9:04 am

Popes Playing Pepper
with Sai and Aarav

SAI -- Welcome to another episode of Triple P. I'm your host, Sai "Young" Ahuji, and with me, as always, is person-of-interest #1 in a future criminal investigation, Aarav "the Mad Pope of Mumbai" Patil.

AARAV -- I can't argue with that. I'm certain I'll snap one day, and you'll be no more.

SAI -- [looks sideways at Aarav] Wow, and that statement will be played during the trial.

AARAV -- Can we just get on with the show? I know we have a couple stories to discuss.

SAI -- Sure ... my future murderer, let's get on with today's top story:

According to Triple P's top unpaid intern, Wasim Jaffer Jr., the California Crusaders were quick to unload two highly disappointing and underachieving pieces of their historic Pacific Division winning squad this week when General Manager Shoeless dealt second baseman, Hakim Ngowa, and centerfielder, Dani Morse. Wasim is standing by with details on the moves. Wasim?

WASIM -- Yes, thank you, Sai. The moves came as no surprise to anyone following the Crusaders this past season. Ngowa was brought in during the playoff push of 2039. Christened as the finishing touch needed to win the Landis, the 'Throw Rug' under-performed to close out the year. His lackluster play continued through the 2040 campaign. His final slash-line for the Crusaders stands at .190/.311/.245 in 365 plate appearances.

Ngowa was traded to the Edmonton Bunny-Rabbits for almost-polished catching prospect, Bayou Hakki. Some speculate Hakki was brought into the organization solely due to his unique name and amazing facial hair -- speculation I have not yet been able to discredit.

Image
Bayou Hakki

SAI -- Classic style, elegance, grace -- exactly what we needed for depth at catcher in our organization.

WASIM -- Oh, you just wait. [Wasim gives the camera a sly grin] Dani Morse was sent packing after a dismal 2040 campaign. The decent fielding centerfielder just couldn't hit his way out of a paper bag during his stint in a righty-platoon spot, slashing a catastrophic .144/.241/.280 over 135 plate appearances. Crusader brass had seen enough despite having almost no one ready to fill his spot. When asked about the gaping hole for right-handed outfield bats for the 2041 season, GM Shoeless said, "We absolutely have a hole there. We've had a god-damn hole there for a couple seasons. But, I refuse to watch Morse try to fill it for one more inning. We have 20 guys in the minors who can hit .144 for us. Hell, Wasim, you could hit at least .145."

Morse was dealt to divisional rival, San Fernando, for rightfield prospect and right-handed hitter, Pepe 'T-Bone' Gómez. The speedy 22-year-old was brought to the organization in hopes he continues to develop at the plate against lefties. He should start the year in AA. But again, speculation is rampant Gómez may have been brought in due to his 'T-Bone' nickname and god-like facial hair -- speculation I could not yet discredit either.

Image
Pepe 'T-Bone' Gómez

SAI -- Interesting stuff. Thank you, Wasim. Well, that's all for today's episode. Have a great offseason everyone.
California Crusaders
Life is a bit more beautiful when time is measured by the half inning rather than the half hour. -- db "Shoeless" Olmsted

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Re: 41.01 PPP; Throwing the Rug

Post by HoosierVic » Wed Dec 11, 2019 9:44 am

First of all, I'm saddened that you've cast off the throw rug. Seems like you could have at least tried a good vacuuming first.

Second of all, almost polished? That means he hasn't quite been polished yet, so you've essentially acquired a dingy catching prospect. The name almost makes up for it, though.

Third of all, "T-bone" is strong. I prefer "Ribeye" myself, but there's no accounting for tastes.

Congrats on the trades, but R.I.P. the throw rug ...

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Re: 41.01 PPP; Throwing the Rug

Post by shoeless.db » Wed Dec 11, 2019 9:55 am

HoosierVic wrote:
Wed Dec 11, 2019 9:44 am
First of all, I'm saddened that you've cast off the throw rug. Seems like you could have at least tried a good vacuuming first.

Second of all, almost polished? That means he hasn't quite been polished yet, so you've essentially acquired a dingy catching prospect. The name almost makes up for it, though.

Third of all, "T-bone" is strong. I prefer "Ribeye" myself, but there's no accounting for tastes.

Congrats on the trades, but R.I.P. the throw rug ...
But those 'staches...
California Crusaders
Life is a bit more beautiful when time is measured by the half inning rather than the half hour. -- db "Shoeless" Olmsted

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