PPP; Simpson is Horrible 2040.3

[shoeless.db]

Popes Playing Pepper
with Sai and Aarav
SAI -- Welcome to Triple P. I'm your host, Sai "Young" Ahuji, and with me, as always, is Aarav "the Mad Pope of Mumbai" Patil. Of course, you know all this already as this is the third damn episode we've aired today, because some puppet-master in the sky must have some time to kill at his desk job today.

AARAV -- Are you saying we're not real? Are we just puppets?

SAI -- It's only a theory I have at the moment, but I'm starting to see some clear signs -- we don't have home-lives other than what he imagines and makes us read off the teleprompter; our looks and personalities are purely superficial and, frankly, a bit racist; and, I swear, I saw a string coming from Wasim's head on the last episode.

AARAV -- It would clear up why I never take bathroom breaks.

SAI -- There's definitely something awry going down. We just need to stay vigilant. Anyhow, onto today's third top story -- It seems a our very own 2039 Frick League Newcomer of the Year Award winner, David Simpson has received a nickname from the God-powers of the BBA. Henceforth, Simpson will be known as "Horrible" David Simpson.

For more on this developing story, Wasim Jeffers Jr. is standing by. Wait, it's not really developing, is it? It's fully developed. And I'm spending time reporting on it -- a nickname. Is this what my life's become now? Nicknames? There must be a fourth wall I'm not seeing. Where is it?

WASIM -- Sai? Are you ok?

SAI -- (looks anxiously around the studio, mumbling about some movie he watched, entitled, "The Truman Show")

WASIM -- Umm, moving on, I guess. David Simpson was given the nickname, "Horrible", in a tongue-and-cheek response to Yellow Springs Nine General Manager, Ron Collins, calling Simpson horrible on something called, Slack.

SAI -- AH, HA!!! That's it! I knew it! There it is!

WASIM -- Knew what?

SAI -- Slack! There's no Slack in the BBA universe. I've never heard of Slack. Have you heard of Slack? That must be where the puppet-masters sling mud at each other. I knew it!

AARAV -- (to the show's Producer) Umm, we may need to get security in here. Sai's gone ... mad.

SAI -- The fourth wall! I knew it. I'm not real. We're all puppets -- you, me, everyone! PUPPETS!

(Several security guards grab Sai and drag him towards the studio exit)

SAI -- It's all a fraud! A fraud! Who are the puppet-masters? WHO? WHO?

---CUTS TO BLACK---

[RonCo]

Sublime

[jleddy]

You can't spell "simulation" without S, A, and I.