PPP; Top Available Expansion List Guys 2040.1
Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 10:08 am
Popes Playing Pepper
with Sai and Aarav
SAI -- Welcome, Crusader fans! My newly minted one-year Triple-P contract is signed, allowing me to be your host once again for this magnificent program through 2040. I'm Sai "Young" Ahuji, and with me, as always, is junior high pickle ball champion, Aarav "the Mad Pope of Mumbai" Patil.
AARAV -- I could play some mean pickle ball back in the day.
SAI -- You know pickle ball's a real game and not just an innuendo for something else, right? Anyway, on to today's top story: With the addition of two BBA teams for your Crusaders to wallop in the upcoming seasons, the league is holding an expansion draft in the coming days, allowing these pathetic newcomers the chance to riffle through other teams' trash in the hope of throwing a not-complete waste of a team together next year. As a favor to our new competition in Portland and Charlotte, here's a list of the three ballplayers from the Crusader organization who will be snatched up like the last cookie in a room full of boys wearing husky jeans:
TOP CHOICE
RP Gianlorenzo Bordon
Any expansion GM worth his salt understands the importance of putting together a team of guys considered just all-around ballplayers. With Bordon -- a crazy 23-year-old reliever out of some pasta-making, milk-molding, two-horse village in Italy -- an expansion team will get just that. Bordon is a run-of-the-mill ballplayer. It says it right on his player page. He lacks any true leadership skills which is a bonus as no startup needs a bunch of guys thinking they know what's best to run a team. Expansion teams need followers. Bordon is the perfect fit, and that's not even taking into account his plus Slider. A plus Slider! He's every GM's fantasy!
TOP CHOICE, but SECOND
C Roberto Garcia
An older, career minor league catcher with intelligence and a great work ethic, Garcia is every Bull Durham fan's wet dream. This guy hit 73 home runs. That's more than 72 for those of you creating spreadsheets at home. And, so what if that home run total is over 15 years, it's still more homers per year than most hall of fame pitchers racked up. And, don't even get me started on what a great clubhouse presence this guy is. He once single-handedly led the chatter from the dugout during a 16-3 loss to some random minor league team no one's heard of. You can't teach that.
TOP CHOICE, but NOT FIRST or SECOND
2B Claudio Defazio
He's actually really good. Or, at least, he was up until last season. The previous three seasons (2036-2038) saw him put up WAR totals of 5.5, 4.2, and 3.5, respectively. For whatever reason, he didn't like playing for GM Shoeless. Defazio is still a great second baseman defensively, will reach base an above average amount, and can easily be a productive lead-off hitter. The second base position just happens to be a momentary position of depth for the Crusaders, and Defazio was left for the vultures. We'll likely miss you, Claudio.
AARAV -- I'm really going to hate seeing any of our guys go.
SAI -- It is depressing to see ballplayers being forced to leave the best franchise in the BBA for some lowly expansion team with no history or fanbase. Ugh, well, thanks for tuning in, and we'll be seeing you at the ballpark.
with Sai and Aarav
SAI -- Welcome, Crusader fans! My newly minted one-year Triple-P contract is signed, allowing me to be your host once again for this magnificent program through 2040. I'm Sai "Young" Ahuji, and with me, as always, is junior high pickle ball champion, Aarav "the Mad Pope of Mumbai" Patil.
AARAV -- I could play some mean pickle ball back in the day.
SAI -- You know pickle ball's a real game and not just an innuendo for something else, right? Anyway, on to today's top story: With the addition of two BBA teams for your Crusaders to wallop in the upcoming seasons, the league is holding an expansion draft in the coming days, allowing these pathetic newcomers the chance to riffle through other teams' trash in the hope of throwing a not-complete waste of a team together next year. As a favor to our new competition in Portland and Charlotte, here's a list of the three ballplayers from the Crusader organization who will be snatched up like the last cookie in a room full of boys wearing husky jeans:
TOP CHOICE
RP Gianlorenzo Bordon
Any expansion GM worth his salt understands the importance of putting together a team of guys considered just all-around ballplayers. With Bordon -- a crazy 23-year-old reliever out of some pasta-making, milk-molding, two-horse village in Italy -- an expansion team will get just that. Bordon is a run-of-the-mill ballplayer. It says it right on his player page. He lacks any true leadership skills which is a bonus as no startup needs a bunch of guys thinking they know what's best to run a team. Expansion teams need followers. Bordon is the perfect fit, and that's not even taking into account his plus Slider. A plus Slider! He's every GM's fantasy!
TOP CHOICE, but SECOND
C Roberto Garcia
An older, career minor league catcher with intelligence and a great work ethic, Garcia is every Bull Durham fan's wet dream. This guy hit 73 home runs. That's more than 72 for those of you creating spreadsheets at home. And, so what if that home run total is over 15 years, it's still more homers per year than most hall of fame pitchers racked up. And, don't even get me started on what a great clubhouse presence this guy is. He once single-handedly led the chatter from the dugout during a 16-3 loss to some random minor league team no one's heard of. You can't teach that.
TOP CHOICE, but NOT FIRST or SECOND
2B Claudio Defazio
He's actually really good. Or, at least, he was up until last season. The previous three seasons (2036-2038) saw him put up WAR totals of 5.5, 4.2, and 3.5, respectively. For whatever reason, he didn't like playing for GM Shoeless. Defazio is still a great second baseman defensively, will reach base an above average amount, and can easily be a productive lead-off hitter. The second base position just happens to be a momentary position of depth for the Crusaders, and Defazio was left for the vultures. We'll likely miss you, Claudio.
AARAV -- I'm really going to hate seeing any of our guys go.
SAI -- It is depressing to see ballplayers being forced to leave the best franchise in the BBA for some lowly expansion team with no history or fanbase. Ugh, well, thanks for tuning in, and we'll be seeing you at the ballpark.