with Sai and Aarav
SAI -- Welcome to Triple P. I'm your 2039 Shovelglove champion, Sai "Young" Ahuji, and with me, as always, is the back-haired wonder, Aarav "the Mad Pope of Mumbai" Patil.
AARAV -- I really dislike how you put in some idiot joke at the beginning of this show. The five viewers of this program likely just want to get to the Mustache and then get along with their day.
SAI -- Oh, please. We have real fans, Aarav. They read -- I mean -- hear every word we say.
AARAV -- I bet you $14 American dollars they do not.
SAI -- Isn't that the amount you tip the guy who comes over to cuddle with you every Wednesday? Whatever, let's just get this show on the road here.
HOW'S THE POPE'S CRUSADE GOING?
We did it. We made the playoffs as the first wildcard out of the Frick with our 87-75 record. No one expected us to be here. No one! But here we are! New General Manager, Shoeless Olmsted, did a masterful job with all the transactions and trades he made throughout the season to bring this longtime loser of a franchise out of the dark ages and into the playoffs. According to the team history, which I did not read, this is the Crusaders' first playoff birth. Let's take a look at all the amazing transactions Shoeless made:
April 29, 2039 -- Promoted C Neil Bruce from AAA Clash City to fill in for "Sarge" Sanders who hurt himself running. Running is hard. Bruce was sent packing to AAA on June 10
May 13, 2039 -- Promoted 1B Yoriyuki Kobayashi from AAA Clash City to fill the roster spot of SS Felix Avila who fell off a ladder at home. Kobayashi played in 39 games and slashed .223/.313/.485 with nine round-trippers. Kobayashi was sent back down on July 1.
Various dates -- Sent RPs Juan Lópes and Pepe "Cheese" Flores back and forth from California to Clash City. Lópes finally stuck with the club by the end of June. Flores was recently brought up again to the big club in early September.
Various dates -- OF Senzo Kurihara saw some time with the Crusaders due to the inevitable injury's to Captain Marvel, Bryan Robson, who has the unique super power of being covered in gauze, band-aids, and crutches.
August 4, 2039 -- Traded for future Hall of Famer and 2039 Landis MVP, Hakim Ngowa. The Crusaders gave up OF prospect Jim Lorenzen and IF prospect Juan Lozano.
Various dates -- Some no-name guys received a cup of coffee here and there, but nothing of consequence.
AARAV -- Wow, he literally did next to nothing. He made one minor trade that actually is not working out that great.
SAI -- That's the point. By doing practically nothing, GM Shoeless did exactly what this team needed out of him to get to the playoffs. Great work, GM Shoeless! Somebody get me a clean dust rag. I'll need it to polish up his GM of the Year trophy.
MUSTACHE SPOTLIGHT
Lock up your wives and daughters. Here's a guy with a mustache straight from the baseball gods themselves: Mike Manning. Good governor, I can't stop looking at it. How can there be war in this world when such beauty walks among us?
Mike Manning
WORDS FROM THE ORACLE
OOOGAGELELADADEDC .... Ngowa .... eDAELAblakeAEAEBQW ... 2039 Landis MVP ... AEABLelaleBAEldael
AARAV -- That's exactly what the oracle said last time.
SAI -- It knows what it knows, Aarav. Have a great night, Crusader Fans, and we'll be seeing you at the ballpark.
