Crusaders News! 2037.5 - It's Time

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Crusaders News! 2037.5 - It's Time

Post by Ted » Wed Feb 27, 2019 7:17 pm

Better Things to Do With Their Money
October 31st, 2037
Offen Sichtlich der Kunstgriff


Good evening Crusaders Fans! I have recovered from my earlier hysteria. Apologies. It's been some time since I've had the joy of covering Crusaders baseball. I simply wasn't prepared for how excited offseason rumors could get me. You see, while I was in Baghdad I became somewhat of a hermit. Well, more of a hermit. Some of you seem to have looked for writing I produce for the Kings franchise. Um ... I ah ... never wrote any. I had the best intentions! I promise! But .... it was so overwhelming! I didn't speak the language at all. I'm pretty sure I accidentally offended every person I spoke to ... customs are just so different! .... and admittedly I'm not even good at ours. So ... after spending several days wandering from restaurant to restaurant (I DID learn all the food names! So good!) because I had nowhere to sleep and nothing else to do .... um .. eventually, I got pretty sleepy and fell asleep in a restaurant ... turned out to be the best thing I did! It was the third of fourth time I'd eaten there during my few days of wandering, and the owner must have noticed how disheveled I looked. Through a series of gestures, shouts in languages the other person didn't understand, and what I'm pretty sure was interpretive dance at one point, I found out the owner rented rooms above his establishment! I have no idea if the price I negotiated was any good .... but um ... it seems I may have obtained access to some Crusaders accounts prior to my departure from the States. Schmidt didn't mention anything about my expenses while I would be writing for him in Baghdad, but well, I figured since the email he sent me was from a team account, they intended to foot the bill.

They've done worse things with their money.

Which brings me to our point! I ... um ... I don't know how to say this .. so I just will. Ricardo Diaz needs to retire. He can't pitch anymore. There. I said it. Stop looking at me like that! We've all thought it. It's been two years since his miraculous performance in the playoffs en route to the 2035 Landis title, and father time hasn't been good to him. Ditto Cris Vazquez. Reportedly both communicated to the team that they would like to come back in 2038, and were given contracts for 1.4 and 1.1 million.

Look, Offie loves a "never say die" attitude as much as the next guy. Old guys showing they've still got it? Sign me up! But both Diaz and Vazquez set career lows in playing time last year, and were hardly used at all in the second half of the season. I mean, I don't even know why they'd want the money. Given previous front office practices, I'm sure both guys have coaching jobs waiting for them the second they'd retire. Heck, Schmidt might even pay them the same amount as coaches, just to get the roster spots back.

This is sad. I'm sad now. I'm going to go talk to Mama now that I'm sad, since she can no longer ruin my day.
Ted Schmidt
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