April, We're Not Afraid of You Anymore!
April 21, 2035
Offen Sichtlich der Kunstgriff
Crusaders Fans! It's Offie! Can you believe it?! I mean, not that it's me, but the team! Oh the TEAM. We're in first! In April! With a 12-6 record! April can suck eggs! The month. Not the person. Actually, I don't know any girls named April. But I imagine some are out there. So no offense intended! Hmm, now that I think of it, this tagline could be pretty confusing to some of them. Don't worry, we were never afraid of you personally. It was the month. Well, I guess if you're reading this, you're a Crusaders fan. Like me! So you probably know all about April. The month. And probably hated it as much as I do. Wait.... I wonder what it's like to hate a month with your own name? I bet that's not good for you psychologically. At least on some unconscious level. I don't want to add to THAT. Okay, so April's out there, it is not you we were afraid of! You are terrific! Well, actually, .... I'm kind of afraid of all women ... so by default April's ....
OFFIE! Get back on track! Okay. So we're dominating so far in the month of April! No more will we cower under blankets while looking at the previous day's box scores, fearing the losses we know must have occurred. No longer will we look at a string of 2-0 and 3-1 losses, seemingly unable to score any runs for the entire first month of the season. A new day has dawned! We are tenth in offense! TENTH! Now, that may not be exciting to some, but we're usually looking at last or near last right now! This is a middle third ranking. Sure, it's the bottom of the middle third, but I'll take it! There are two Crusaders on pace for well over 100 RBI! Do you know the last Crusader to drive in 100 runs? Cris Vazquez. In 2031. In fact, during Vazquez's stretch of hitting that mark each year from 2024 to 2031, he was the ONLY Crusader to do so. Before that the last one was Armando Rosales in 2011. Can you guess the last time TWO Crusaders crossed the century threshold? 2005 (skip to 3:55 in the link if you're impatient) Thirty-five year old Morris Pennebaker and 36 year old Bolt Vanderhugen. Good lord. It's been a dry thirty years.
But like the tagline says, those days are OVER! Cisco Morales continues to be excellent, shutting down the Edmonton Jackrabbits in a game the Crusaders scored eight runs (8!) to salvage the series. Miguel Ramos was a lot better in the opener against Madison, but got no runs support (ugh) the next day. But then BOOM!. Eight runs! Seven runs! (Two) Seven! Five! Over the next four games the Crusaders staff allowed one or fewer runs. (And then we won five to four in the second Des Moines game.) Who lead the charge?
THAT GUY! Umm ... that's Fernando Moreno for those of you who don't know all our Crusaders by face (For Shame!) Twelve hits in 26 at bats. FIVE dingers! Whoooooo!!!!!!!!!!
Who's up next? One more with Des Moines, then back on the road for Hawaii and Vancouver. But no we no longer have to fear! Other teams should fear us! Fear the mighty Crusaders!
Crusaders News! 2035.23 - What the? Hooray!!!!!
Moderator: shoeless.db
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- Ex-GM
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Re: Crusaders News! 2035.23 - What the? Hooray!!!!!
We've been on the road mostly, so... But it was weird. Before, we wouldn't hit at home in cold weather, then we would go on the road and continue to not hit. So maybe it's the park. Or maybe it was '18 and now it's fine in '19. I think we've stunk in April five or so years in a row, but maybe the first one or wo was just randomness and there was some goofiness in '18. ALL the years we used '18 I had some insane summer hot streak.
Ted Schmidt
Twin Cities Typing Nightmares(2044-present)
California Crusaders (2021-2038)
Twin Cities Typing Nightmares(2044-present)
California Crusaders (2021-2038)
- RonCo
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- RonCo
- GB: JL Frontier Division Director
- Posts: 19815
- Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2015 10:48 pm
- Has thanked: 1982 times
- Been thanked: 2902 times
Re: Crusaders News! 2035.23 - What the? Hooray!!!!!
almost four days without an Offie fix. I don't know if I can stand it.
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- Ex-GM
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Re: Crusaders News! 2035.23 - What the? Hooray!!!!!
Yeah, sorry. It's been a little crazy. Offie's been busy, too. He'll have an explanation for it I'm sure.
Ted Schmidt
Twin Cities Typing Nightmares(2044-present)
California Crusaders (2021-2038)
Twin Cities Typing Nightmares(2044-present)
California Crusaders (2021-2038)
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