Byline: Max Offen Sichtlich
Off Topic
Are Mad Popes Really This Desperate for Offense?
July 28, 2055
Looking more than a little haggard as he balanced himself tenuously at the podium, General Manager Ron Collins announced today that the Sacramento Mad Popes have executed a large portion of what he’s called “Operation Find A Bat,” and that the team will call up recently signed veteran free agents Bob Dempsey and Curt Lehman.
Both joined the AAA Black Hills club and immediately began crunching baseballs, Dempsey drilling a pair of doubles and a pair of homers while hitting .333, and Lehman matching Dempsey’s doubles and posting a .375 batting average while getting on base in half his appearances.
“That was good enough for me,” Collins said woozily.
The team recently suffered through a five-game losing streak in which they scored only six runs combined, so the need is real. But this reporter has to wonder exactly how desperate this division leading club has become that they rely upon these kinds of steps. It’s of note that two more moves are likely in the works—Vasco Fonzarelli and Lee Stone remain in AAA as they attempt to work off the rust.
With a huge Hawaii series coming up, it has to give fans a case of indigestion to see this kind of churn.
“I can’t be worried about that,” Collins said. “We’re focused on doing the right things to help the team. If we win, everything will work out.”
We’ll see what happens, of course. Perhaps it will all work out. Maybe the Four Veteran Journeymen of the Apocalypse will be so hungry for their second chance that they’ll rip the covers off baseballs through the end of the season. But, as a long-standing fan of the team as well as a reporter, I have to say I have my doubts. This isn’t the California Way, as the club’s fervent fanbase has called it for some time.
Collins may be biting off more than he can chew, and from his pale grey, pallid skin, it appears the stress is getting to him.