But, look, you idiots. Here's a team news! Sacramento did it! They've done the impossible. They've landed on the metaphorical moon!
Oh, man, what's it about, you ask, this glorious, improbable team news. Well, oh just you wait, you're going to be flabbergasted. Flabbergasted!
It's about Beauregard McBunterson! Insane, right? But, it's true. Bunty gosh-darn McBunterson gets the nod for this most implausible team news article. The most unicorn-ish of all the unicorns wandering through this Brewsterpocene forest. The man with a 12 rated bunt. 12! The unicorn becomes the topic for the most unicorn of BBA team news.
And, because of this (seriously, guys ... this team news is just too magnificent for a Monday, am I right?), Sacramento has granted Mr. McBunterson his outright release. Adiós! Arrivederci! Bon voyage! Vale! Uglendagondo! Fllósguchenborrwi! Good-bye, you utter failure!
Career BBA stats -- NONE!
That's a wrap. You're welcome for this tremendous team news. It's been ok on my end.