PPP; Top Available Expansion List Guys 2040.1

GM: Doug Olmsted

Moderator: shoeless.db

User avatar
shoeless.db
UMEBA GM
Posts: 268
Joined: Wed May 29, 2019 10:25 pm
Has thanked: 145 times
Been thanked: 99 times

PPP; Top Available Expansion List Guys 2040.1

Post by shoeless.db » Wed Sep 11, 2019 10:08 am

Popes Playing Pepper
with Sai and Aarav

SAI -- Welcome, Crusader fans! My newly minted one-year Triple-P contract is signed, allowing me to be your host once again for this magnificent program through 2040. I'm Sai "Young" Ahuji, and with me, as always, is junior high pickle ball champion, Aarav "the Mad Pope of Mumbai" Patil.

AARAV -- I could play some mean pickle ball back in the day.

SAI -- You know pickle ball's a real game and not just an innuendo for something else, right? Anyway, on to today's top story: With the addition of two BBA teams for your Crusaders to wallop in the upcoming seasons, the league is holding an expansion draft in the coming days, allowing these pathetic newcomers the chance to riffle through other teams' trash in the hope of throwing a not-complete waste of a team together next year. As a favor to our new competition in Portland and Charlotte, here's a list of the three ballplayers from the Crusader organization who will be snatched up like the last cookie in a room full of boys wearing husky jeans:

TOP CHOICE
ImageRP Gianlorenzo Bordon
Any expansion GM worth his salt understands the importance of putting together a team of guys considered just all-around ballplayers. With Bordon -- a crazy 23-year-old reliever out of some pasta-making, milk-molding, two-horse village in Italy -- an expansion team will get just that. Bordon is a run-of-the-mill ballplayer. It says it right on his player page. He lacks any true leadership skills which is a bonus as no startup needs a bunch of guys thinking they know what's best to run a team. Expansion teams need followers. Bordon is the perfect fit, and that's not even taking into account his plus Slider. A plus Slider! He's every GM's fantasy!

TOP CHOICE, but SECOND
ImageC Roberto Garcia
An older, career minor league catcher with intelligence and a great work ethic, Garcia is every Bull Durham fan's wet dream. This guy hit 73 home runs. That's more than 72 for those of you creating spreadsheets at home. And, so what if that home run total is over 15 years, it's still more homers per year than most hall of fame pitchers racked up. And, don't even get me started on what a great clubhouse presence this guy is. He once single-handedly led the chatter from the dugout during a 16-3 loss to some random minor league team no one's heard of. You can't teach that.

TOP CHOICE, but NOT FIRST or SECOND
Image2B Claudio Defazio
He's actually really good. Or, at least, he was up until last season. The previous three seasons (2036-2038) saw him put up WAR totals of 5.5, 4.2, and 3.5, respectively. For whatever reason, he didn't like playing for GM Shoeless. Defazio is still a great second baseman defensively, will reach base an above average amount, and can easily be a productive lead-off hitter. The second base position just happens to be a momentary position of depth for the Crusaders, and Defazio was left for the vultures. We'll likely miss you, Claudio.

AARAV -- I'm really going to hate seeing any of our guys go.

SAI -- It is depressing to see ballplayers being forced to leave the best franchise in the BBA for some lowly expansion team with no history or fanbase. Ugh, well, thanks for tuning in, and we'll be seeing you at the ballpark.
Life is a bit more beautiful when time is measured by the half inning rather than the half hour. -- db "Shoeless" Olmsted

User avatar
jleddy
General Manager
Posts: 639
Joined: Mon May 27, 2019 5:46 pm
Location: Long Beach, CA
Has thanked: 542 times
Been thanked: 134 times

Re: PPP; Top Available Expansion List Guys 2040.1

Post by jleddy » Wed Sep 11, 2019 10:49 am

Great piece...I'm sure the two expansion GMs will appreciate it. :bag:

Oh, and glad the boys are wearing husky jeans and not corduroy...moving too fast after the last cookie in those with thick thighs could start a small fire.
Last edited by jleddy on Wed Sep 11, 2019 11:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
"My $#!? doesn't work in the playoffs." - Billy Beane Joe Lederer

User avatar
7teen
General Manager
Posts: 7095
Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2010 7:59 am
Has thanked: 28 times
Been thanked: 116 times

Re: PPP; Top Available Expansion List Guys 2040.1

Post by 7teen » Wed Sep 11, 2019 11:29 am

#Studs
Chris Wilson

LB Surfers 95-96
FL Pac Champs: 95

Madison Wolves 99-2039
JL MW Champs: 99 to 2009, 17, 20, 21
JL WC: 12
JL Champs: 01, 04, 09, 12
FL Heartland Champs: 32
FL WC: 31, 33
BBA Champs: 04, 09

Portland Lumberjacks 39-?

Image

User avatar
shoeless.db
UMEBA GM
Posts: 268
Joined: Wed May 29, 2019 10:25 pm
Has thanked: 145 times
Been thanked: 99 times

Re: PPP; Top Available Expansion List Guys 2040.1

Post by shoeless.db » Wed Sep 11, 2019 11:45 am

7teen wrote:
Wed Sep 11, 2019 11:29 am
#Studs
Defazio could be a steal if he comes back to form...
Life is a bit more beautiful when time is measured by the half inning rather than the half hour. -- db "Shoeless" Olmsted

User avatar
RonCo
League Director
Posts: 12522
Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2015 10:48 pm
Has thanked: 576 times
Been thanked: 409 times

Re: PPP; Top Available Expansion List Guys 2040.1

Post by RonCo » Wed Sep 11, 2019 12:19 pm

I've got to check my spreadsheets.
Yellow Springs Nine
Playoff Regular, Landis Averse

User avatar
7teen
General Manager
Posts: 7095
Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2010 7:59 am
Has thanked: 28 times
Been thanked: 116 times

Re: PPP; Top Available Expansion List Guys 2040.1

Post by 7teen » Wed Sep 11, 2019 12:28 pm

shoeless.db wrote:
Wed Sep 11, 2019 11:45 am
7teen wrote:
Wed Sep 11, 2019 11:29 am
#Studs
Defazio could be a steal if he comes back to form...
I like Defazio the player. Not sure Defazio the player at $10 million is as good. Depends on how many other 2Bs might be available first.
Chris Wilson

LB Surfers 95-96
FL Pac Champs: 95

Madison Wolves 99-2039
JL MW Champs: 99 to 2009, 17, 20, 21
JL WC: 12
JL Champs: 01, 04, 09, 12
FL Heartland Champs: 32
FL WC: 31, 33
BBA Champs: 04, 09

Portland Lumberjacks 39-?

Image

User avatar
HoosierVic
General Manager
Posts: 622
Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2019 9:16 pm
Has thanked: 71 times
Been thanked: 146 times

Re: PPP; Top Available Expansion List Guys 2040.1

Post by HoosierVic » Wed Sep 11, 2019 4:34 pm

So, wait, I’m working on my spreadsheet ... 73, that’s less than 74 but more than pickle ball, right?

User avatar
shoeless.db
UMEBA GM
Posts: 268
Joined: Wed May 29, 2019 10:25 pm
Has thanked: 145 times
Been thanked: 99 times

Re: PPP; Top Available Expansion List Guys 2040.1

Post by shoeless.db » Wed Sep 11, 2019 4:47 pm

HoosierVic wrote:
Wed Sep 11, 2019 4:34 pm
So, wait, I’m working on my spreadsheet ... 73, that’s less than 74 but more than pickle ball, right?
Nope. You have it wrong still. You forgot to carry the one when you multiplied by the pickle.
Life is a bit more beautiful when time is measured by the half inning rather than the half hour. -- db "Shoeless" Olmsted

User avatar
HoosierVic
General Manager
Posts: 622
Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2019 9:16 pm
Has thanked: 71 times
Been thanked: 146 times

Re: PPP; Top Available Expansion List Guys 2040.1

Post by HoosierVic » Wed Sep 11, 2019 5:23 pm

Then multiply by the square root of the number of Wasim’s bathroom breaks, and you get two horses making pasta that, laid end-to-end, spell ‘Ngowa is a throw rug.’

User avatar
jleddy
General Manager
Posts: 639
Joined: Mon May 27, 2019 5:46 pm
Location: Long Beach, CA
Has thanked: 542 times
Been thanked: 134 times

Re: PPP; Top Available Expansion List Guys 2040.1

Post by jleddy » Wed Sep 11, 2019 6:03 pm

HoosierVic wrote:
Wed Sep 11, 2019 5:23 pm
Then multiply by the square root of the number of Wasim’s bathroom breaks, and you get two horses making pasta that, laid end-to-end, spell ‘Ngowa is a throw rug.’
Can you imagine the new guys trying to understand this after a day of cooking and swimming?
"My $#!? doesn't work in the playoffs." - Billy Beane Joe Lederer

User avatar
HoosierVic
General Manager
Posts: 622
Joined: Tue Apr 02, 2019 9:16 pm
Has thanked: 71 times
Been thanked: 146 times

Re: PPP; Top Available Expansion List Guys 2040.1

Post by HoosierVic » Wed Sep 11, 2019 6:29 pm

I wrote it, and I’m not sure I understand it ...

Post Reply Previous topicNext topic

Return to “California Crusaders”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest