9-News - 48.005: Valle HoF Odds Spark Controversy

[RonCo]

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Hot Stove League Muses “Tarnished” HoF Case
December, 2047 – YELLOW SPRINGS: Like another superstar pitcher before him, YS9 ace Carlos Valle was on a clear path to a surefire Hall of Fame career last spring when a false step popped his meniscus and cost him what amounted to all of the past year. Sure, he came back and pitched in the playoffs—a controversial decision at the time that now at least seems intriguing seeing that his start was the only October game the team managed to wrestle away.

Loserville Fan Group
Losing Their Mind?

Valle, of course, needs no introduction. He’s sitting at 202 career wins, the most in Nine history, and he’s got those three Nebraska awards, which has generally been a litmus test for inclusion—though fellow Nine starter Crash LaLoosh had to sweat out several ballots before finally being included despite his three. Of course, Valle isn’t finished, and if rumors are true his workouts (and that last start) suggest he’ll be back in reasonable health. At age 34, there are still some who think that the 250-win mark is in reach, and we suppose that technically that’s possible. If the Carlos Valle who returns from a year off is the same Valle who was pitching beforehand, 20-victories a season isn’t far-fetched, and given that the club recently traded a young starter, one assumes their baseball people think that’s a reasonable expectation. But father time will beat Valle eventually, and the oddsmakers are not so sure.

“If Valle makes 250 wins, he’s a lock,” said Sammy “Silver” Smith, CBO of the KingFisher Casino Corporation. “Even at 225, you’ve got to figure it will happen. But the guy’s 34, and 34-year-old pitchers don’t have a great track record. Besides, I understand Loserville fans are beginning to take up a collection to put out a contract on him, so there’s that.”

Smith declined to go further, but some team insiders suggest that the betting mogul’s comments were meant to cool down the cash flow that’s been dropping on Valle’s behalf. The house always wins, after all, one way or the other. Others say that the buzz on the street is quiet frenzied about an underground figure named "The Shawmon" who is apparently creating anti-Nine material out of his mother's basement.

“I’m just happy to be pitching again,” Valle said. “Life is too short for all that bull-malarkey.”