9-News - 48.004: Purge Continues

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9-News - 48.004: Purge Continues

Post by RonCo » Thu Aug 19, 2021 3:10 pm

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Nine Trades Ramos, Plus Two For Minor Leaguer

The lackadaisical YS9 front office has apparently determined it’s time to throw some blame for the team’s tremendously stupendously poor October performance since, like, forever, on one of the few bright spots on the team’s register—that being the pitching staff. Shortly after trading youthful starter Roy Minty to Phoenix, the team announced a stunning agreement to trade stalwart pitchers Ernesto Ramos and Ernesto Martas, along with reliable lefty Lester Arundel, to Brooklyn for … get this … single-A pitcher Lorenzo Herrera.

Fans are … um … nonplussed.

Teammates are likewise.

“I don’t really know what they’re doing,” said Carlos Valle, who missed most all of last season with a knee issue. “I just want to win games.”

Ramos is the obvious name in the deal, a veteran who came in with Valle. His career record stands at 133-82, 4.38, though he, too, lost some time to injury, and had been alternating in the bullpen for bits of time. Insiders suggest the main number that caused the move was 15-million, as in his salary for the season. Some suggest the issue was related to a particular piece of jewelry GM Ron Collins’s wife wanted, and he had to find the money somewhere.

The second Ernesto (Martas) was apparently thrown into the deal because an intern was told to write up the papers, and when they couldn’t decide which Ernesto to include, simply transcribe both names. Collins is rumored to have signed the deal when a diamond glinted in his eyesight, temporarily blinding him. The lefty reliever has been simply brilliant in his five seasons with the team, posting a combined 2.46 ERA in 168 innings. That said, the team has been concerned about his longevity for some time, and with the lefty on the IL for the end of the season, one can see how perhaps the time had come to move him.

Arundel is a more interesting case—having become a kind of favorite among the team’s more blue-collar fans. He was a workhorse of a sort, a bullpen guy often used as a starter—almost a de facto “opener,” though he was generally ridden as long as he could last rather than pulled after an inning or so. “I’m going to miss him,” said Tim McCoy, an independent contractor and plumber. “The guy just kind of got things done. It was fun to watch him take in the craziness around him and just get to pitching.”

For That?

If there’s anything fans are scratching their heads about, it’s not that these pieces were traded, but what they were traded for. The club sent three major league pitchers of solid value to the Robins in return for one 23-year-old right-handed starter who spent most of 2047 in single-A ball. That would be Lorenzo Herrera. Admittedly Herrera had some success in A-ball, posting a 3.75 ERA, but a 4-game stint in AA saw him get lit up like Shoeless on Wine Night.

We suppose it’s possible Herrera might turn into that diamond that seems to play so heavily in the GM’s decision, he was Brooklyn's #2 pitching prospect and #4 overall (if you trust the BNN system, anyway, so there's a good source for you, amirite?) but he’s got a long way to go, and a short time to get there.

End May Not Be In Sight

Some around the team suggest that the annual YS9 executive party held on Cat Island may have resulted in some “decisions” that means the blood letting is not over.

“Collins is vulnerable right now,” an anonymous source said. “You never know what he might do.”
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Re: 9-News - 48.004: Purge Continues

Post by scottsdale_joe » Thu Aug 19, 2021 3:56 pm

nonplussed is a great word that most people wrongly define. You didn't, of course.
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Re: 9-News - 48.004: Purge Continues

Post by RonCo » Thu Aug 19, 2021 6:29 pm

Well, I occasionally use words correctly just to throw you folks off the scent.
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Re: 9-News - 48.004: Purge Continues

Post by CTBrewCrew » Fri Aug 20, 2021 11:00 pm

….oooooo you got a plan in here @RonCo 😜. YS9 dont take a crap without a plan. 😄.
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Re: 9-News - 48.004: Purge Continues

Post by lordtoffee » Mon Aug 23, 2021 9:46 pm

Should be an interesting deal for the both of us. Hopefully we both win this trade.
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Re: 9-News - 48.004: Purge Continues

Post by Lane » Mon Aug 23, 2021 9:55 pm

I definitely need to incorporate getting "lit up like shoeless on wine night" into my own writing
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Re: 9-News - 48.004: Purge Continues

Post by shoeless.db » Wed Aug 25, 2021 3:42 pm

Lane wrote:
Mon Aug 23, 2021 9:55 pm
I definitely need to incorporate getting "lit up like shoeless on wine night" into my own writing
I just want to incorporate more wine night lighting up...
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Re: 9-News - 48.004: Purge Continues

Post by CTBrewCrew » Sun Aug 29, 2021 8:41 pm

shoeless.db wrote:
Wed Aug 25, 2021 3:42 pm
Lane wrote:
Mon Aug 23, 2021 9:55 pm
I definitely need to incorporate getting "lit up like shoeless on wine night" into my own writing
I just want to incorporate more wine night lighting up...
….Gerties just warming up…
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Re: 9-News - 48.004: Purge Continues

Post by Dington » Sun Aug 29, 2021 9:23 pm

CTBrewCrew wrote:
Sun Aug 29, 2021 8:41 pm
shoeless.db wrote:
Wed Aug 25, 2021 3:42 pm
Lane wrote:
Mon Aug 23, 2021 9:55 pm
I definitely need to incorporate getting "lit up like shoeless on wine night" into my own writing
I just want to incorporate more wine night lighting up...
….Gerties just warming up…
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