Off Topic
Foul Play in Chicago Again?
Sept 6, 2045: YELLOW SPRINGS – YS9 Assistant GM Alex Gonzalez was in the news recently for allegations he’d conspired with manager Sam Brewington to pressure owner Bo Jordan to fire their boss. Today his case took another twist, and he was found wearing winter clothes that included a parka, mittens, and a mask pulled tight, apparently living in a Chicago dumpster.
Gonzalez was discovered after a resident reported a weird man muttering to himself in a dark alley near Black Sox Park.
“At first we just thought it was Caleca doing his Caleca things,” said Detective Owen Hale, who was placed on the case once Gonzalez’s identity was revealed. “So we just waved it off. Then someone said it was the GM, and we knew that wasn’t right.”
Toxicology reports have not been released, but some are speculating the YS9 assistant GM was exhibiting extensive paranoia and was surrounded by an exotic aroma that didn’t relent on the ambulance ride. Gonzalez was taken to a local hospital where he’s being treated for dehydration and being examined for medical issues. “He kept muttering he just wanted the pears,” Hale said. “Kept saying they said there would be pears over and over again. It’s all very unusual. We did note a collection of fruit baskets were going rancid in the dumpster, but we didn't notice any pears.”
YS9 PD has been contacted, but as of yet no officer has been assigned the case. "We're aware of past misdeeds relating to the Black Sox organization," Chief of Police Wally Mire said in a brief press conference that also covered the result of a recent exploration into the whereabouts of one Mark Haynes' bat. "To be honest," Mire said, Haynes hasn't hit in three years, so we're not sure why the APB was placed now."
Regardless, this news takes the case of Gonzalez into new territories that one hopes will not be as odious as those past events.
The team released a notice that said they were happy that Gonzalez had been safely found, and that they hoped for a speedy recovery.” With Gonzales in the last season of his contract, server followers have openly speculated as to whether he would be returning to his post next year. The team had no comment.
