9-News: 44.010 – Thum Prepped for Contract Year

[RonCo]

Off Topic

Did Thum Just Tip His Hand?

March 31, 2044: Nothing, AZ – As the Yellow Springs Nine breaks camp and heads to Ohio to open with games against defensing Landis champion Louisville, and Nashville, you don’t have to be particularly sensitive to pick up on the vibe that’s following Dong-po Thum. After a quiet first two weeks of camp, the veteran superstar ripped his way to a solid .326/.420/.442 Arizona slash, and set the table for jaws to start flapping even moreso than they were in the off season.

Thum's Comments
Spur Fan Unrest

Thum is notoriously at the end of his arbitration seasons, and at only 26 years old will be looking to make a killing in free agency. If anyone is going to do it, it’s going to be him. He’s played shortstop, he’s played third base, he’s played shortstop. He’s dropped more WAR in his five seasons than Freaking Dusty “Drive Me Home Country” Rhodes did in his entire 17 season career—and over half the league recently voted to put Rhodes into the Hall of Fame.

“I feel good,” Thum said as the team prepared to step into the transfer portal in Phoenix. “I’m looking forward to a great season. It’s my dream to win a Landis, and I think this season will go a long way toward accomplishing that.”

Fans, ever sensitive to such, immediately took to the net-waves to proclaim that Thum wanted out of Ohio, suggesting that his comments about wanting to win a Landis were clear statements that he wanted to play in “Loserville or Edmonton or some other city that actually cares about something beyond the Heartland Division title.”

“He’s got to get his priorities right,” one fan wrote.

“Say it ain’t so, Dong-po,” said a distraught member of the Thum Scrum, a local fan group.

“Anywhere but Chicago,” another added. “Jesus but that place stinks to high heaven.”

Thum’s comments add fuel to the fire that he’s created by being reluctant to talk about staying with the Nine at a time when it’s clear that the team’s finances are in a certain amount of turmoil. Some pundits look at the money Aki Kondo got (control of $126M for four years), and when asked about what Thum might commend merely say “more.” The Nine would certainly hat eto art with a guy of Thum’s quality at the top of their lineup, but a cursory glance at the payroll projection says their ability to find that kind of money is farcical.

It leads some to speculate if Thum might be moved for prospects—but, of course, the valiue he could bring is almost guaranteed to below what he would create.

“We’ll deal with it going forward,” said GM Ron Collins. “Right now we have a Heartland Division title to focus on.”

[HoosierVic]

Thum's mustache clearly doesn't live up to Chicago's facial hair standards. Also, he'd have to agree to delete his Mikki Manning playlist on Spotify ...