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An Open Letter to YS9 Fans
The Yellow Springs Nine baseball club announced today that fans would be seeing some subtle changes when they came to the park to enjoy a game, a pop, and of course, a Big Niner or two!
NEW VISUAL WHIZ-BANG TOYS!
The first thing that will be obvious to the eye is that the hitting backdrop behind center field has been replaced with one of the latest QTIS (Quantum-Tech Imaging Systems) projection gel screens so that between innings, fans can be entertained with highlights and updates from other games around the league. This beautiful system included a concave surface for perfection of view from any seat in the infield section of the park. Fans with outfield seats will see the same display, but in smaller screens embedded in blocks of the press box.
“Our fans are the best true baseball fans in the world, and our front office wanted to let the city know we see that,” said GM Ron Collins as he unveiled the demo system.
During the game itself, the display will be turned to a cool green background that is likely to be a shade lighter than the dark green canvas tarp that once hung behind the pitcher—which has made some wonder how the device might actually affect play on the field.
“Hitters say it’s fine,” Collins said when asked, though he deflected follow-up questions regarding which hitters had tested the system and given their blessings.
Improved Mid-Summer Ventilation
The team also announced that in order to combat the well-known extra-humid Ohio summer humidity, park administrators would be installing a new air handling unit to push cool air through a new air duct that will encircle the top of the lower seating area. Bobby Ken Ware, the team’s chief engineer described the system as “basically five big-assed fans and a whole lot of aluminum straws.
“Heat rises,” the engineer explained, noting that the cooler breeze shoved into the environment from the upper deck would be caught in a bubble of warm air above it, hence act as a cooling agent. “Fans will love it,” he said. “Now excuse me because I’m late for my appointment to by a Porsche and a boat from a guy in Haiti.”
“We know we already have a roof,” Collins said when asked why the team didn’t just close the roof on days with high humidity. “But a survey of our fans said they think baseball is meant to be played out doors, and unless it’s raining we wanted only the best for them. I should note for all of you that you can get your season tickets at NotLandis@NineTickets.Box.”
After the presser, a few folks got to talking and got to wondering about what effects this new set of devices might have on the field of play, also. “Mess with the air and you mess with everything,” one reporter said. “I don’t know if they know what they’re doing."
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