9-News: 41.024 – $50M Kid Crashing In

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9-News: 41.024 – $50M Kid Crashing In

Post by RonCo » Wed Jan 15, 2020 11:58 am

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There will be some among us, we know, who will be shocked that the idea of spending $50M on a 16-year-old pitcher is likely a bad idea.

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This is, of course, what the Yellow Springs Nine did earlier this year: writing a mega-check for the rights to bring International Free Agent Alberto “Slippery Pete” Romero into their organization. Slippery was, as one scout put it, a blazing bit of baseball talent packaged in a 6’3” god-form. His skin glowed with golden heat of the sun. His teeth blazed and glinted with sparkles that bedazzled hitters as they stood defenseless at the plate. When Slippery Pete entered a room, it was said that folks across the entirety of the gender spectrum swooned. Leaders of states offered him cabinet positions to move to their countries. Otherwise rational business people presented stock options and lifetime supplies of everything from tissue paper to Impossible Porterhouse steaks if he would just be pictured with the product.

It was said that one young catcher had his glove bronzed after using it to block a Slippery Pete pitch in the dirt because “that’s never going to happen again.”

Romero’s control was just that good, right?

Given this report, we suppose it isn’t that surprising that GM Ron Collins woke up one morning and said “I need Pete a lot more than I need $50M of Bo Jordan’s money.”


WE KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING, RIGHT?

I mean, two seasons ago, the team threw mega-cash at one Kazuki Ojima, who proceeded to nose-dive into the briny deep as soon as you could say “dumpster fire.”

Scouts today returned from a trip to the club’s complex with dour faces and short-lipped answers to questions, but leaks from inside team headquarters say that the team’s baseball people have already down-graded expectations of Slippery Pete’s stuff and movement by a notch each, and have tightened up the control belt by double that.

In other words, Alberto Romero has yet to throw a competitive pitch, and he’s already gone toward prospect pedestrian.

Romero himself had no time to comment, as he was off to his mani-pedi appointment, and was then to meet with his Uncle Diaz, who was reported to be exploring investment opportunities along the French Riviera.
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Re: 9-News: 41.024 – $50M Kid Crashing In

Post by sjshaw » Wed Jan 15, 2020 1:54 pm

IFAs are fool’s gold. But I still would have paid that for him.
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Re: 9-News: 41.024 – $50M Kid Crashing In

Post by shoeless.db » Wed Jan 15, 2020 2:16 pm

Gulp.
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Re: 9-News: 41.024 – $50M Kid Crashing In

Post by HoosierVic » Wed Jan 15, 2020 7:24 pm

He looks a little older than 16 ... more like 26 ... or, with that ‘stache, 36. Are you sure he’s not a UMEBA cast-off? Potential fraud case brewing here ...

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Re: 9-News: 41.024 – $50M Kid Crashing In

Post by shoeless.db » Wed Jan 15, 2020 8:20 pm

HoosierVic wrote:
Wed Jan 15, 2020 7:24 pm
He looks a little older than 16 ... more like 26 ... or, with that ‘stache, 36. Are you sure he’s not a UMEBA cast-off? Potential fraud case brewing here ...
Yeah, this whole thing smells like potatoes.
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