Clubhouse Hijinx Follows Diagnosis
It took only a half a day for the term “Old King Rex” to become popular in the Yellow Springs clubhouse. “It came from Jose,” said rookie Rex Foster, who has been officially diagnosed with a case of gout that will put him on the injured list for at least a week. In this case, Jose is Jose Machado, the playful outfielder.
It turns out that Machado hadn’t known what gout was, and turned to the internet.
“That’s where I learned that it’s a thing that in the old days only really hit old guys and rich guys,” Machado said. “Like, you know, kings. We already knew Rex as the $14M man, so the rest was easy.”
The $14M is in reference to Foster’s well-publicized bonus signing as the team’s first pick in the 2038 draft. He’d fallen considerably, and, in fact, until the team rolled sever Brinks’ trucks up to the Foster household, most pundits expected the Nine had wasted the pick.
The team has recalled outfielder Andy McKinney up as a replacement while Foster undergoes treatment. The rookie had underwent an active and successful debut earlier, posting a .333/.424/.593 slash with a pair of homers in 33 plate appearances with the Nine. Defensively, he’s been about as expected—probably a shade below average, but not a total klutz. McKinney, who has spent much of the past few seasons on the Nine roster, has been blasting AAA pitching for the first month of the season.
“I’m sure we’ll see Rex back here in the very hear future,” said reigning Manager of the Year, Bill Inkster. “I’d expect the guys to get him a scepter or something when he’s off the list.”
“Long Live Old King Rex,” said Machado.
