Investigation of Pig Spill Appears Snagged
“This was a huge day for us,” said manager Bill Inkster, who has been at the helm for each of those three division titles. “It’s always a very long season, and winning the division is always a big achievement.”
Of course, fans of the team could be forgiven for having a slightly different frame of reference. The club has now been to the post season thirteen of the last fifteen years, and come out empty. No Landises. Zero. The counter argument, however, is that it’s possible this is the best Nine team of all time. The team needs three wins to set a new club record. Beyond that, this is a young team, a team that has very little hangover effect within its ranks—meaning most team members won’t carry a heavy mantle of losing into October.
The curse is strong, though.
Fans remember.
POLICE CHIEF SAYS PIG PROGRESS IS SLOW
YSPD Chief Megan Manes held another press conference yesterday to discuss the investigations happening with regard to the pig biproduct dump that happened this August 24th.
“Progress is still happening,” she said. “But original links that were directed to the AllStats company that handles the Lumberjack stats processing have not provided the results we wanted.”She explained that there is no question that the code in question came from the AllStats computer system, but that there were irregularities in the programs on their servers that were confounding cyber experts. Details were left vague, but the issues seems to be that software programs stored on the AllStats servers were somehow loaded into Agri-Green’s truck control boxes, but that the code itself could not have been developed on the company’s computing platforms.
“So the developers had to be someplace else.”
No word was given on where that might be, but investigators will be making another pass at AllState’s physical offices and remote workers’ homes.
Portland Lumberjack officials have been denying any knowledge of wrongdoing.