9-News: 38.128 – LaLoosh to Get Day

[RonCo]

With news out of the Middle East that Robert LaLoosh will be retiring, the Nine public relations office released a notice that the team will be holding a day for the venerable coach. Due to the fact that the league will not release the actual schedule until later in the off-season, the announcement wasn’t clear on the exact date. It is desired, however, that it be the team’s home opener—though that could be influenced by other factors, including the elder statesman’s preference to attend any game pitched in by Crash.

Events planned for the day include “Bobbing” for apples, honing your fastball in speed traps, and having your picture taken alongside a robotic simulacrum of the lauded coach as he removes you from a game. LaLoosh will throw the first pitch.

Some are pondering whether the club would include him in their Hall of Fame—something that became more practical when the club inducted longtime manager Brett Rose a few seasons back. LaLoosh would be the team’s firs pitching coach to be so included. Fans seem split on the notion, however, some suggesting a pitching coach has limited impact, and others arguing that LaLoosh clearly had at least as much impact on the team’s run of regular-season dominance as manager Bret Richards had.

Given that the team once again is without post-season hardware, these questions will almost certainly continue to burn hot with the most fervid fans in Ohio.