9-News: 37.072 – Nine Apologizes to Storm

[RonCo]

After running an exercise to sort through the detritus of the 2037 season in an attempt to understand exactly what’s happened, the Yellow Springs Nine front office has released a tersely worded apology to the players, officers, and fans of the Seattle Storm. “It has come to our attention that we’ve pretty much single-handedly ruined the Seattle season,” the apology said. “Whereas every other team in the world seems to beat the shit out of us, including those in the Storm’s Frontier division, we’ve somehow done egregious damage to Seattle. Since our season is pretty much mired in the muck right now, we would like to apologize profusely.”

The Nine have played Seattle 10 times, winning 8 times. Over those ten games, the Nine have out-scored the Storm by a score of 80-45. “It’s been ugly,” said a Seattle fan.

It’s made worse by the fact that the Nine can’t seem to beat teams like Frontier leader Edmonton (3-7) or even teams like Calgary (3-3) and Vancouver (5-5), They have managed to eek out a 4-2 record against pitiful Boise. Today, Seattle is considered to have about a 2% chance of making the playoffs, which is actually less than Yellow Springs (3%). If they’d just managed a standard 6-4 or 7-3 record against the Nine, like most self-respecting teams managed, and like they’ve posted against Heartland division leader Omaha, the Storm would be sitting considerably prettier in the catbird seat.

[niles08]

Thats interesting that you've had their number so many times.

[RonCo]

We've bludgeoned them, too. Our last four games we've averaged over 11 runs a shot.