For the second season in a row, the Yellow Springs Nine will be facing an uphill battle thanks to a schedule that is slanted against them. “It’s enough that the team has hired an investigator to determine if payoffs are happening,” said an anonymous source. The team will launch its season with a 9-game road trip, and play 19 of its 27 April games away from Utopia Field. It doesn’t get any better in May, as the club will be at home only 9 dates vs. 19 on the road. The first three weeks of June is likewise loaded. It all adds up to the fact that, of the club’s first 72 games, 49 are on the road and only 23 at home.
“It’s always a tough row to hoe for us,” manager Bret Richards said when asked about that allegations that Heartland opponents pooled their money and bought the scheduler, among other things, a Vespa scooter for Christmas last year. “Like may Granny back in Cincinnati used to say, we just have to lace them up and play ball.”
Others in the organization are apparently not being as charitable, noting that missing that many home games early in the season has ramifications that influence the long-term viability of the organization. “You miss the exuberance that fans have early in the season,” said Fred Markinsonson, a professor at nearby Antioch College. “And since it’s harder to win on the road, our numbers suggest that coming home to a fanbase while toting a worse record depresses attendance.”
It’s noted that, while the club did eventually post an attendance record in 2037, it came as a result of occasionally severe price drops, and that the Nine’s overall revenue on that attendance fell. The final result was that owner Bo Jordan dropped the team’s budget from $150M to $144M.
EXISTENCE OF HEARTLAND CONSORTIUM DISMISSED
While the Nine’s investigators are examining evidence that they think points to collusion among the team’s Heartland opponents, some with sane heads not that the issue may be more complex, given that Des Moines and Madison have similar slants to their schedules, while Omaha and Twin Cities will start the season with more home games than away. This would suggest that any such finagling of the slates might be focused on the Omaha/Twin Cities pipeline.
River Monster Owner Robin Wells is known to be drawing a harsh line with his team this year, expecting a pennant soon, and while he’s been a somewhat silent partner in the public, insiders say he’s not above pulling strings. Likewise, Omaha head-man Jessie Helms has been consistently known to be using the team’s profits to fund other business ventures. Reports are that his latest investment in an off-Broadway Musical based on a chance encounter in the lives of Edie Sedgewick and Tiny Tim haven’t panned out, and that he’s in need of a cash infusion this year.
No formal charges have been made at this point, however.
