9-News: 37.001 – Nine Get Stoned

[RonCo]

Also Get Camachoed and Wooded


With waves of distressing news surrounding them like sharks in a pool of so much chum, Yellow Springs Nine fans were greeted to a brief respite, waking this morning to news that the team had signed a contract with star catcher Aaron Stone (8/8/9/7/5 Ratings). The deal pays Stone (27 HR, .273/.360/.492) $11.7M for one season, avoiding what could have been an ugly date with an arbitrator.

Fans immediately took to the airwaves to talk about it.

“At this point, I don’t care if he’s paid too dammed much. It’s worth it just to see someone stay here,” said one caller to “Nine-Talk,” a local podcast hosted by Frankie Franklin and Melissa Lester.

“People around here are angry,” Franklin said in an interview afterward. “They feel what’s happening with their hearts.”

Perhaps they’re feeling it in other ways, too, as both legalized marijuana shops and Quick-pik Snackies shops around Ohio are reporting a sudden upsurge in business.

NINE ALSO GET WOOD

Other news this morning included the team getting Wood. “There’s nothing better than hearing about Wood in the morning,” said one excited caller. The backup catcher signed for two years at $2.2M each, not horrible for a guy who’s created a touch more than 1 WAR/season over his time here. Together, Stone and Wood have been handling the catcher role for the past couple seasons. With the tram expected to work toward getting Stoned again next year, it looks like this could be a long-standing arrangement.

CAMACHO MAKES THREE

Finally, the team picked up dour-themed Carlos Camacho (6/8/7/6/6 Ratings) on a cheap $970K deal.

[Lane]

Heh

[Joshua Biddle]