Nine Lives 26.02 – Outta da Deep Freeze

[RonCo]

What would probably surprise you the most is that the first thing I notice has NOTHIING to do with the fact that I’m cold. When the procedure is finished, after all, I’m going to find myself standing in a fleece blanket, shivering and whining for my mother about muscles that barely work and skin that’s so brittle and dry that it’s flaking off right before my eyes. And I’ll be guided by a technician with the bedside manner of one of the Luciano boys.

“You all right there?” he’ll say as he holds me steady. “Be careful where ya goddamned step cause ys gonna get FreezaGoo all over the place, and then I’ll havta clean it all up.”

“What is this?” I’ll ask.

“You don’t remember?” the guy’ll say. And then he’ll just look at me like I’m some kind of dumbass, which I suppose is true, and he’ll kick the chamber that I’ve just got out of. “This here’s the Freez-a-thon 6000. Best chunk of icer on the planet. Nothing like a slab a cold when you need to take a break.”

“Take a break?”

“Yeah,” the guy’ll say, giving me the old elbow to the side. “You know, slip the hell outta town. Go on the sly. Get away from the missus for a little bit until the heat comes off, ya know?”

And then it will all come back.

How I’ve got the Nine under my control, and how I got the news that we _didn’t_ get to pay Savage cash for Savage. I’ll remember going into the deep funk, that I couldn’t get out of bed for a month, and how the guys came to get me in the middle of the night. How they tied me up and tossed me in the back of what I’m pretty sure was the van from Hell (it smelled like dead meat, anyway), and how next thing you know I’m standing in front of the Freeze-a-thon 6000, and it’s beginning to fill with aqua-colored goo that gives off thick dry-ice kind of clouds.

The guy turns me around and shoves me backward into the vat.

“We’ll see you when we got someone who can whip the Nine inta shape,” the guy says.

And I know what’s happening. It’s the fans of the Nine. They’re fed up. They want better. They deserve better. And so they’re going to get better, with me … or rather without me.
------------ No, the first thing I notice up on waking up from the deep freeze is that my throat hurts and that my nose is all stuffed up. My temporal lobe is throbbing like a bass drum at a sludge metal concert. It’s like the mother of all head colds. And the, only then, do I notice how damned cold it is.

Which, frankly, sucks.

I think hard about suing. They owe me, right? Kidnapping me? Dumping me in the deep freeze? Making me miss the entire season 17 of Game of Thrones? Joking about me at the local bar while they watch the Nine whack their way to another win? Calling me the GMcicle?

That ain’t right, eh? I mean. Seriously. Someone in this fan group owes me, right?

On the other hand, the club was in the playoffs. So I guess all is forgiven.

[bschr682]

You could just say hey guys im back but I guess this works...

[felipe]

Glad you are back

[indiansfan]

Nothing like giving us the cold shoulder.

[Lane]

Happy to see you back, I've tried to do some creative writing of my own but I think I'll leave it to the professionals...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Ted]

Nice to see you back

[udlb58]

You could just say hey guys im back but I guess this works...

Ha! Like a professional writer would announce his return with any less. Glad to see you are back Ron!

[trmmilwwi]

Ron was gone? Humphhhh...