WELCOME TO THE UPSIDE DOWN
How else do you explain this? The Madison Wolves — your Madison Wolves — sitting in first place at 15–8, tied with… Nashville.
Nashville! Even the Mind Flayer couldn’t have predicted that one.
And all this while we lose Carlos “My Arm Is a Demogorgon” Cruz for six whole weeks. Six! A tendon erupts in the 2nd inning and suddenly we’re solving pitching problems like Joyce Byers with a Ouija wall. Yet somehow, the Wolves keep winning.
OFFENSE: THE PARTY RIDES AGAIN
Look at this bunch swinging like they’re chasing Vecna himself:
– 116 runs scored, 3rd in the FL!
– A .269 average that puts us 6th!
– And they’re doing it without many walks, which honestly feels very “Wolves” and very “Season 1 Dustin trying to explain compasses to everyone.” Brian Forrest (.324), Gary Keller (.306, 4 HR), and Gary Fellers (20 RBI!) are basically our Steve, Dustin, and Robin — carrying the vibes and saving our bacon.
PITCHING: STRANGER THINGS INDEED
The staff ERA sits at 3.81, good for 6th in the FL, and I swear it feels like pure Upside Down magic.
Jesús Gil is exhausted, Tyler Murray is tired, Wesley Turner is pitching like he accidentally opened a gate to the netherworld (10.24 ERA), and yet we keep winning games by one run — 7 of them, to be exact.
Felipe Zarate? Nine saves and a WHIP of 0.70. That man is Eleven. You can’t convince me otherwise. He just walks out of the pen, stares at the hitter, and metaphorically snaps a bat with his mind.
DEFENSE & VIBES: CHAOTIC GOOD
Opponents are batting .250 against us. We’re in the top four in preventing runs. And we’re 10–6 on the road like we’re taking portals from city to city.
All the numbers, all the logic, all the baseball sense says we should be somewhere in the middle of the pack with the rest of the Heartland weirdness…
But here we are.
Lights flickering.
Air getting cold.
Nashville somehow competent.
Madison somehow thriving.
We’re in first place. In April. Without Cruz. And I don’t trust reality one bit.
If a monster made of chewed gum and nightmares crawls out of the bullpen next week, I want it on record: Gertie called it.
Until then — keep those Christmas lights plugged in, folks. We’re gonna need ‘em.
---Gertie
