2065.02 - Gerties Take on the Open Day Rotation & BullPen
Posted: Sun Nov 23, 2025 11:45 am
Gertie's Corner: The Men on the MoundThe GM assures me the "numbers" on these pitchers are trending in the right direction. I don’t know about trends, but I know what a win looks like, and I know a walk when I see one. You can't rely on those fielders if you're putting three men on base for free!
Here is my honest-to-goodness assessment of the fellas who are supposed to keep the other team off the scoreboard:
- SP – Tyler Murray Now *this* is a pitcher. The GM calls him an "innings eater," which is a fancy way of saying he can actually pitch for more than two hours. He’s thrown over 1,500 innings and keeps the ball on the ground. He's the workhorse—and he saves our bullpen for real emergencies.
- SP – Carlos Cruz The GM's golden boy, and I have to admit, the numbers don't lie. Look at his ERA: 3.25. He gets ground balls like a vacuum cleaner, and he hardly walks anyone. He has the "good stuff," which the computers calculate as "high strikeout rate." I calculate it as being smarter than the batter.
- SP – Jesús Gil I'm told this fella has great "stuff," but he's got a losing record. I don't care how many of those whiffle-ball sliders he throws; if he can't get a win, he can't pitch the ninth. We need runs, yes, but we also need a pitcher who can keep the score close enough that the umpire doesn't send us all home early.
- SP – Bob English Bob's a groundball fella, which I appreciate. He trusts the fielders, and the fielders need something to do. However, his walks per nine are hovering around four, which is simply too many free tickets to first base. I hope the catcher starts setting up closer to the batter's box, because Bob needs to learn where the plate is.
- SP – Kevin Edwards Kevin is a quiet achiever. A 3.56 ERA and he keeps the ball in the park. He doesn't have the flash of the closer, but he doesn't have the walks of the other fellows. He's reliable, which in this rotation makes him a saint.
- CL – Felipe Zarate Our young closer. The GM says he has an "elite K/9." I say he throws the ball with bad intentions. A 2.18 ERA and 37 saves is all I need to know. He is a true finisher. My only complaint is that a boy his age should not be making my heart pound like that in the ninth inning. I need a sedative every time he takes the mound.
- RP – Mark Moore A true fireman. The man has thrown over 1,300 innings out of the bullpen and still posts a groundball rate you could set your watch to. He’s the veteran you throw in when the young boys have made a mess of things. He knows how to get a low, hard out.
- RP – Chris Stout Another old man who knows how to make the batter hit the ball on the ground. He has a little bit of trouble with the walks, but he's an extreme groundballer. He makes our infield earn their paychecks, and I appreciate that.
- RP – Wesley Turner He used to be a good closer, but he is now giving out too many free passes (3.7 BB/9). The manager needs to remind him he’s throwing to a catcher, not trying to hit the Goodyear Blimp. We don't pay for suspense, Wesley; we pay for strikes!
- RP – Jugnu Sampath Jugnu is what I call a "project." He walks four men every nine innings, which is four too many. He has a decent ERA, but watching him pitch is like watching a man defuse a bomb with trembling hands. Just throw it over the plate, son!
- RP – Dani Clemente His ERA is almost seven. Seven! If the bus driver had an ERA that high, he'd be walking to work. He's down on the charts in every category that matters to me. The GM better tell him to find the plate, or find the minors. We don't pay good money for a bullpen session every third inning.
- RP – Jaime Canales Jaime has an ERA over five. The GM says his "FIP suggests bad luck." I suggest bad pitching. He walks too many and gives up too many runs. Luck is what happens when you throw a strike; bad luck is what happens when you walk the leadoff man.
- RP – Alejandro Ramiraze Young Alejandro has some potential, I’ll give him that. He strikes out a fair few (7.5 K/9), but he’s still learning. He’s got 41 saves in his career, so he knows how to close a door, but he needs to stop leaving the window open with those walks.
- RP – Tom Lefebvre A young arm with remarkable control. The kind of boy who can get you a clean inning with no fuss, no muss. He hardly walks anybody (2.0 BB/9), which tells me he trusts himself and he trusts the fielders. He's going to be a key piece if the manager knows how to use him.
— G.H.