By Gertie (yes, THAT Gertie)
Six games, four wins, two loud messages:
1. This team ain’t scared of Yellow Springs.
2. Shotz Stadium is open for business.
My Madison Wolves opened the 2063 season with a 2-1 road series win against those purple-clad scoundrels in Yellow Springs. We followed it up by taking 2 of 3 from Twin Cities in front of the hometown faithful. The record’s 4-2, the vibes are immaculate, and Curt Holter is already putting in a claim for my entire wallet.
Let’s go game by game, darlings:
@ Yellow Springs Nine
April 1: L 1–6 – Opening Day Spooked 'Em. Pedro Juárez got roughed up, we barely hit, and I nearly fired the nutritionist.
April 2: W 11–3 – Murray dealt, Holter went deep, and we ran them silly. Even Herrera grabbed a save.
April 3: W 6–5 – Turner gutted it out, Clint Thomas slammed the door, and I howled from the box seats.
vs. Twin Cities River Monsters
April 5: L 4–6 – Turner again, but the bats were napping until it was too late.
April 6: W 4–2 – A revenge game for Turner, and Clint notched another save.
April 7: W 5–4 – Extra wine for Juárez, who bounced back, and save #3 for Mr. Thomas.
STANDOUT BATS
- Curt Holter: .391 AVG, 2 HR, 9 RBI — We fed him nothing but elk and rage all spring. It’s working.
- Ricardo Norman: .375 AVG, .506 OBP — He sees pitches like I see lies.
- Gary Fellers: 2 HR, 7 RBI — Legit power from the pasture. My outfield Cerberus has teeth.
- Joe Drayton Jr.: Only played 3 games, but made 'em count. Don’t blink or you’ll miss his next homer.
- Boyd Fitzgerald: Baby shortstop. Grown-man OPS: .930.
- Jesús Gil: Welcome to the big leagues, sugar. 6 IP, 1 ER in debut. First-rounder looks like the truth.
- Tyler Murray: Grit and guts. 5.2 IP, only 2 ER. Got us that first dub.
- Clint Thomas: 3 appearances, 3 saves. ERA: 0.00. He shuts it down like a nightclub fire marshal.
- Takahiro Fujii, Heath Brown, Jugnu Sampath: Combined 6 IP, 0 ER, 11 Ks. Call them the Quiet Killers.
I peeked in on the minor league action while soaking in a lavender protein bath. And let me tell you — the future is LOADED.
AAA HITTERS:
- José Carlos Deleón: .486 AVG, 1.126 OPS — Absolutely mashing. I’m already checking if he can play third.
- Geoff Grant: 3 HR, 11 RBI — Just send him a glove and directions to Shotz.
- Gerardo Ruíz: .478 AVG — That’s not a typo. The kid’s allergic to outs.
LOWER LEVEL HYPE:
- Norman Hughes (A): .400 AVG, .991 OPS — First-round pedigree starting to bloom.
- Larry Neighbors (A): .462 AVG — I already love the name. He plays like a polite menace.
- Talos Tsakolov (A): .357 AVG — I drafted him for the vibes, but he’s delivering results.
- Chong-yee Sung (AAA): 6.2 IP, 1 ER — I see you, Sung.
- Manuel Silva (AA): 5 IP, 0 ER — Ice-cold execution.
- Rafael Torres (A): 4.1 IP, 0 ER — That’s how you start a campaign.
- Cristián Vázquez (AA): 6.1 IP, 1 ER, 7 K — Sneaky good.
Silver Fang (MVP): Curt Holter
Iron Paw (Pitcher): Clint Thomas
Wolf Pup of the Week: Boyd Fitzgerald
Minor League Menace: Geoff Grant
4-2. A taste of blood. Shotz is humming. The Wolves are howling. And I’ve got playoff dreams dancing behind these aviators.
See you next week, pups.
– Gertie
