The Brewster

March 1st, 2062 - To Whom It May Concern at the Phoenix Talons PR Department and Denny’s Corporate. @jiminyhopkins

This is Gertie, a lifelong Brewster Baseball Association fan and proud supporter of the Madison Wolves—the team that knew the true worth of Manobu Shimizu, unlike your shameless organization. Imagine my horror when I discovered you signed one of the BBA’s *greatest* players to a pathetic $42,069 MiLB contract. $42,069? That’s not even enough to buy a decent hot dog at one of your overpriced concession stands! And what's with extra 69 ????!!! A little cab fair after you've had your way with him?

What’s worse, you’re not even putting him in a position where his talent and wisdom can shine. No, instead you’re probably gonna shove him behind the frosty machine at that ridiculous Denny’s you plopped in center field, flipping pancakes and entertaining your ungrateful Talons fans who don’t even appreciate what they’ve got! Manobu Shimizu deserves to be in the dugout, mentoring young players, not slinging Grand Slams to a bunch of people who wouldn’t know a BBA Legend if he hit them with a bat!



This is an insult to his legacy, and frankly, to the entire BBA. You’ve turned a legend into a sideshow attraction. Shame on you.

Disgusted,
**Gertie**

(A Furious Wolves Fan Who Knows Better)

Talons Sign Nearly 240 WAR to Their Astoundingly Bad AAA Team

Wait til you find out we accidentally gave Felix Roman an extra "zero" lmao

jiminyhopkins wrote: ↑

Thu Feb 06, 2025 9:09 pm

Talons Sign Nearly 240 WAR to Their Astoundingly Bad AAA Team

Wait til you find out we accidentally gave Felix Roman an extra "zero" lmao

That happens when you're laughing so hard while you're typing.