Windy City Ramblings - 1996.1
Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2010 9:42 am
(Chicago, April 11) - Black Sox management today announced the firing of their chief accountant, Price Waterhouse.
The esteemed firm promised the Sox that, after arbitration, the team would be under the MBBA's draconian salary cap so long as no free agents were hired. Yet lo and behold, the front office received this terse email from the league:
The league rumor mill has it that Sox GM Mike Dunn is working the phones, talking with squads that have salary space and are in need of an upgrade at in the rotation. Word is that he is shopping SP Evander 'Eephus' Kilkenny and SP Juane Nieves. Sources indicate Dunn is looking at other options as well.
A spokesman for Price Waterhouse issued a statement saying, "We are sorry to part ways with the Red (sic) Sox. However, this mistake was not ours. We blame the team and respectfully suggest that they fuck off.'
All of this nonsense tempered the Black Sox' solid 8-1 start to the 1996. The squad was led as usual by ace Jeff Kiplinger, who won both his starts and yielded just two earned runs over more than 16 innings.
The esteemed firm promised the Sox that, after arbitration, the team would be under the MBBA's draconian salary cap so long as no free agents were hired. Yet lo and behold, the front office received this terse email from the league:
Well. This prompted the immediate dismissal of our accountants. Seems the Sox are $1.5 million over the cap and now must scramble to make a deal, sacrificing talent of the world championship squad, to get "into compliance."Fellas,
Your payrolls are over the $90M salary cap. Please reduce your payroll to $90 or less before the May 1st, 1996. Or else I will have to choose a player(s) to release for you to bring you into compliance.
That is all.
The league rumor mill has it that Sox GM Mike Dunn is working the phones, talking with squads that have salary space and are in need of an upgrade at in the rotation. Word is that he is shopping SP Evander 'Eephus' Kilkenny and SP Juane Nieves. Sources indicate Dunn is looking at other options as well.
A spokesman for Price Waterhouse issued a statement saying, "We are sorry to part ways with the Red (sic) Sox. However, this mistake was not ours. We blame the team and respectfully suggest that they fuck off.'
All of this nonsense tempered the Black Sox' solid 8-1 start to the 1996. The squad was led as usual by ace Jeff Kiplinger, who won both his starts and yielded just two earned runs over more than 16 innings.