2062.02 - Letter from unnamed to sports journalist Mac O'Zach (dated 1/11/2062)

[R.Umali]

The Great M.O.

We like that you've been sprinkling the dust this off season. We love positivity.

The usual is in it for you to do the same re: Preseason Predict for the BNN. If anybody comes asking: tell him that you heard that Adam Hines has been working on his curve up in Evanston and that he's been killing it. You wouldn't be fooling either cuz that's a fact. Verifiable, too. We have a grad student doing work-study at the dev lab and she's been feeding us good intel. Such as: Dave Matthes is also killing it at Dev Lab. We know Rock wants him for Opening Day. He's being groomed for something bigger. Makes one almost feel bad for Tony Cochran. Such a delightful nitwit. Source says he's been fumbling at Dev Lab. Not surprised in the least. Beyond that, can't get any clarity on him 'sept that he'll be at Spring Training. But with the Spring roster holding 70, that ain't much of a stretch. It's a good thing we cut it when we did.

Anyhoo, with both of those boys: talk them up. You won't be the only one. That's assured. Hell, start the Gillstrom talk for Matthes. When you do your lists, slot him under Mynorli Gaajlimitz. Our friends in Arizona will notice. We might get thanked. If we can deliver a Gillstrom you might be able to start thinking of retirement.

If your upper-ups push back, put more talk about the defense. Non-folk's eye glaze. So do the yadda yadda on Lucchesi
. - We liked your profile about him. Appreciate the inference to the Family. At this point, with how much that beefcake talks, it can't be helped. Instead, concentrate more on Shafiq Zahir. They signed him the same sim they got Lucchesi, almost like an after-thought. Zahir made a real positive impression on Jean Dalyell when they acquired him last year.

There's something unusual about that guy. We gotta find out.

You know what to talk about rotation: Hines, Stevie Bodine, and Carlos Moya.. Talk them up to justify that winning season. My source has Azim bin Ghalib is pencilled in as SP5. Take it or leave it. The realists would have him dancing on the trade block but who's a realist when it comes to these predictions? (I'll tell you who but they would be downright incriminating.) With everything else - bullpen and off-season acquisitions - do what they do: hopes and dreams.

Bottom line: go hog wild with your prediction. Yes, you can be critical. Sprinkle some of that saber-metrics up in there. Beat up on Bobby Sherman - guy might be the Opening Day pitcher if you want the best odds. Have at it with catcher situation. Still pissed that Marcos Echevarria cost me a suitcase (at least!) with that injury. Go high because we know the folks at the Media Guide are going to go low and we know who the oddsmakers are listening to down to the percentage. We do have some other outlets covered to dilute the whole effect. Our aim for the over/under is 77.5. That's the magic number. If we have that, we are golden no matter what the Black Sox do this year. No matter what.

Big payday is possible on Opening Day if we hit it right.

Cheers.

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The Baseball News Network have since released their Spring Training pre-season predictions and have Chicago winning 90 and losing 72. A winning record is something they have not accomplished since 2048.