Front Office Shoots Kum Back to Twin Cities
Kum Went Limp Once the Games Counted
Chicago, May 27, 2054 -- No one will be erecting statues to Kum, at least not in Chicago. Lao Kum, the Rule 5 draft pick who impressed during spring training, is being returned to Twin Cities after proving to be a total bust once the season started.
"We appreciate Lao's enthusiasm, but frankly, my grandma could have played better," said GM Mike Dunn. "We wish Kum well in Twin Cities."
Kum was stiff competition during the spring, hitting .318 in 51 plate appearances, and with a .412 on base percentage. But once the games mattered, shrinkage in his stats was evident: he hit just .150 in 89 plate appearances, with a .190 OBP. Worse yet, his defense was horrible, with a -.2 zone rating in center. "Kum let everything through up the middle," said one observer.
Filling Kum's slot on the roster will be veteran Manuel De Los Santos, who tweeted, "I told you so!"
Lao may not want to unpack too quickly, however. Twin Cities is said to be exploring a trade of the outfielder to Portland, where Assistant General Manager Kate Fiscus has apparently taken a liking to Kum.
