Black Sox Select Malabanan, Starter with Oodles of Stuff,
at #4 in Amateur Draft
Chicago, April 22, 2054 -- With eight syllables in his first and last names combined, chanting the name of Murugayan Malabanan may give fans fits. But they may get plenty of opportunities to try in a few years, now that Black Sox have selected the 20-year old starter in the first round -- number 4 overall -- in the 2054 Monty Brewster Baseball Association Annual Draft.
Say his name four times real fast
Despite the unusual name, Malabanan is a U.S. native, having been raised in Midland, N.C. He goes by the nickname "Murray."
Sox GM Mike Dunn issued a prepared statement praising the young starter. "Murugayan is more than a series of batting statistics. He's an upstanding, mature young man who managed a 3.9 GPA in his senior year despite the pressures of playing ball. He is very intelligent and we believe he will soon be at the core of the young team we're forming in our system."
Malabanan is considered to be extremely hard to sign, since he is represented by reviled baseball agent Scott Soreass. We're told Soreass only wants to talk if the Black Sox start out in the $7 million range. Fortunately the club, currently with the lowest payroll in the Brewster, is in a position to offer that. Both Soreass and Dunn refused to comment on the ensuing negotiations.
If Malabanan signs, it is possible that he might immediately be sent to the Single-A Grand Junction Gold Sox, given that he already has three solid college seasons under his belt. Four of organization's top 30 prospects make up most of the Gold Sox rotation.
The announcement of Malabanan's selection at #4 comes after the Black Sox released a bizarre statement in which they claimed to have drafted stud OF prospect Michael Buckley in the #2 slot. In reality, the Seattle Storm organization drafted Buckley. When asked for comment on the odd announcement, Black Sox spokesperson Summun Phuk Dup stammered and stuttered, then blamed it an overzealous intern. "Uh, yeah, I think we kinda got ahead of ourselves on that one," he said with a nervous chuckle. "That's a big never mind!"